I'm Not Bad. I'm Just Drawn That Way.

Last night was movie night. I got the pizza, popcorn, m-n-ms and movie. Husband forgot the wine, but I still managed to enjoy myself.

My boys, all three of them, and I settled in to watch Who Framed Roger Rabbit? I chose this cartoon because I'm sick of all those flicks about the baseball team where Hometown Hero overcomes incredible odds to win the game. I chose something different.

And we had a great time until this scene where Judge Doom began his transformation and, quite frankly, freaked my kids out.



They voted unanimously to never let Mommy rent a movie again.

"The Rookie never made them cry," Husband said.

Later that night, after the first two or three nightmares, it became quite clear that:

a) my brother lives on in the next generation, he was afraid of Sesame Street,
b) they get their pitching arm from me and their sensitive side from their father,
c) if I was going to get any sleep at all, I'd have to sleep with them.

So I did. Somewhere around 1am, I looked at my little boys as they slept peacefully and it occurred to me that some mothers would say, "Get over it, kids. Toughen up." Those women would go back to their bedroom with a clean conscience and, at the very least, get a good night's sleep.

Then I thought about my own mother.

I can remember freaking out after watching The Wizard of Oz and my mom let me sleep in her bed for a week or so. I was ten. And I turned out plenty tough.

So I kissed their cheeks and snuggled with my boys all night, continuing a tradition of nurturing strength instead of demanding it. Worked for my mom. Works for me.

Happy Mother's Day to us both.

Why Gay Porn is Better Than Another Tour of Duty in Iraq

A male, heterosexual member of our military would rather drop trou on film with another man than go back to Iraq. Here's why.

Let's examine the benefits of both:

Gay porn:
You make a new friend
It is only one night
The per hour pay is better
You get to put actor on your resume

Iraq:
None

So there you have it.

h/t Becky

More White Crazy

With which McCain is proud to be associated.



h/t QJ

A Recurring Theme

So I get into work yesterday only to be told, surprise, that we're having staff evaluations. No problem.

The powers that be arrive in my classroom and I'm confident it'll be like every other review I've ever had. Positive and professional.

Started off okay.

Turns out I'm knowledgeable and passionate. Good work ethic. I bring in books, music, and art to supplement my lessons. Kids are excited about social studies and doing well.

Fantastic, right? Not so much.

Turns out I'm too hard on my students. Too assertive. Not empathetic or compassionate enough. I demand a certain self-discipline from kids. I'm too hard on their parents.

Really? Cause I remember talking a few parents off the ledge this year. Calming them down when they'd attacked my fellow teachers.

"Right, you did do that. I'm talking about other times."

Oh. I see.

That's not all. When I'm not mouthy, I'm too quiet. Especially in team meetings. Too standoffish. My personality is *different* from everyone else.

Have any parents complained?

No.

Have any students complained?

No.

Have you brought this to my attention earlier? Like, say, before review time?

No.

Am I brand new? Trying to get acclimated? Learning team dynamics as I go along?

Yes.

But I'm the only teacher who assigns homework during winter and spring breaks.

Do I have to get from pre-colonial to post-9/11 in nine months when I only see these kids every other day?

Yes.

But a kid drew a swastika on his neck and I yelled at him and told him to wash it off. And kids were surfing the web and I told them that wasn't allowed. Now, yes, they did surf porn sites and that's illegal and other teachers allowed it to happen, but I'm still too hard on the kids. I'm the toughest grader in the school. I don't take personality into account.

I need to ease up and go softer on them. They're at-risk after all.

Plus I need to be more outgoing with the team. Shouldn't be so quiet. Gives the wrong impression.

I tell them that I'm surprised. When Co-Worker #1 gave me Christian books to read, sent me anti-liberal emails, and took shots, daily, at my political and religious views, I always laughed.

I smiled through it all. Never once complained. Even when others came to me and told me *they* were offended on my behalf.

Apparently when I joke back, I'm too aggressive. When I ignore it, I'm a snob.

One of the reviewers said it's an "east coast v. western thing, Catherine. You're just different."

You don't say?

I'm different everywhere I go. My friend Jeff put it best: "A liberal Jewish vegetarian with twin sons? You are an actuarial nightmare."

Everywhere I've ever worked, people have appreciated those differences. We shouldn't all be the same. We shouldn't all be buddies with our students. Someone should be a grown-up.

I'm not complaining. Not really. I'm thanking them. Because my ultimate decision is now so much easier to make.

I'll Be the First to Admit that I'm A Mess Right Now

But I doubt I'm the only one who could benefit from such a wonderful story.

So here:



Enjoy.

Reply to My Texts - Ongoing

I received this late one Saturday evening from someone in Pennsylvania:

"Do u ever cry when u r alone?"

I fought the urge to text back:

"I'm a wife and mother. I run around in my skivvies and dance to Rick James when I'm alone. I cry the rest of the time."

Seriously, how would you respond?

a) I would cry, but I'm too busy using the bathroom without interruption.
b) I gotta remove my cell phone number from Facebook.
c) ?

I'll totally send your response if it's better than mine.

More Good News

Read this article about a child in my neck of the woods.

Yet another child victimized because he's different.

Then tell me a small town's values aren't reflected in its playgrounds, schools, businesses, laws, and neighborhoods.

And people.

Then tell me that this kind of experience will make him stronger. That it's good for him.

Then pick up your kids from their private school, drive behind the gate, go inside, lock the door, set the alarm...

and suck it.

If More Conservatives and Republicans Were Like George Will

If more of you focused on real issues and real concerns, then no matter how much we disagreed, at least I could *respect* you.

But instead, most of you all look and sound like this...



and therefore deserve no respect. Of any kind.