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Tween this

Posted by Catherine on Sep 1, 2010 in Joys of Parenting

When I first heard the term, I thought, “What the hell is a tween?” Then someone explained that tweens are kids who find themselves in that crazy stage between sippy cups and wine coolers, cartoons on Saturday mornings and unprotected sex on Saturday nights. Back in the dark ages of the early 1980s, when I [...]

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2

Like I said, my every attempt to enjoy the great outdoors leads to a near-death experience

Kevin first hired me back in 1996 when I arrived in Boston with a whole lot of hair, looking to begin a career. He made an interesting first impression as well. Kevin was blonde, short, refused to smile, and shook my hand harder than a constipated law school graduate. He meant well; I could tell [...]

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When life hands you lemons, try and make a profit

Posted by Catherine on Jun 28, 2010 in Joys of Parenting

I blame The Lemonade War and a sluggish economy. That’s right, a child’s book and an environment where Mommy simply cannot afford yet another video game and more toilet paper at the same time are to blame for what went down at my house last Friday. Admittedly, I was also part of the problem. A [...]

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1

“Who said you were entitled to a vacation?”

Posted by Catherine on Jun 11, 2010 in Impending nervous breakdown, Joys of Parenting, Mom and Dad

I had at least twelve lengthy conversations with my mom before leaving my teaching career to return to the business world. I lived in Colorado at the time. Husband and I wanted to come home to Tampa, but knew that would require her assistance. “You’re about to retire,” I said. “Are you sure you want [...]

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2

Still sick of the so-called “Mommy Wars”

Posted by Catherine on Jun 2, 2010 in Joys of Parenting, Parenting

Too many women justify choices in child-rearing by dumping on society, moms who choose differently, or their own children. Shut up already. At-Home Moms: Good for you. You’re dealing with less income, shitty diapers, and an aggressive steam cleaner that was supposed to make your life easier. Your kids will surely benefit from a full-time [...]

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4

Ready to have kids? Don’t.

Posted by Catherine on Apr 21, 2010 in Joys of Parenting, Parenting

Couples all over America are considering unprotected sex tonight. Men and women, caught up in daydreams about her nose and his eyes on a brand-new, beautiful human being. They are perusing parenting books, hoping for inspiration and overpopulation statistics that are far less depressing than what they’ve found on the Internet. You know the type. [...]

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Amnesia victims might be runaway moms – and who could blame them?

Posted by Catherine on Apr 2, 2010 in Joys of Matrimony, Joys of Parenting

“I’ve been looking for some shred of evidence of our life together, and now it’s become entirely clear why I’ve chosen to block it out!” Every once in a while, you hear news of this sort – A woman was struck by a car and arrived at the hospital with amnesia. Thankfully, these women are [...]

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4

Modern v. old-fashioned parenting

Posted by Catherine on Mar 25, 2010 in Family, Joys of Parenting, Laughing is better than the alternative

After hearing stories this past week about how my relatives were raised during the 1940s and 1950s, I’m surprised my grandparents and their contemporaries were never brought up on charges. The fact that they weren’t featured in a movie-of-the-week or some best-selling memoir must mean that their parenting styles were accepted and even appreciated. Their [...]

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3

Clash of cultures at Cracker Country – Why chaperones drink

Posted by Catherine on Mar 22, 2010 in Education, Joys of Parenting, Those Crazy Jews

Last week, I chaperoned my children’s fourth-grade class on a field trip to Cracker Country. For those outside the Bible belt, and Godspeed, seriously, Cracker Country is a journey back in time to the late 1800s/early 1900s. School groups visit Cracker Country to learn about how people lived in rural Florida at the turn of [...]

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Helping your children talk back on the playground and other fun parenting lessons

Posted by Catherine on Mar 18, 2010 in Embarrassing Moments in Mommyhood, Joys of Parenting

As a child, I never knew what to say when kids picked on me. This quick wit you enjoy is a recent development. Back in the late 1970s and early 1980s, I’d just stare straight ahead and pretend to be deaf. If I went home and complained to my mother, her advice was quaint and [...]

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