For many practical reasons

Traveling to Boston feels like visiting an old boyfriend.

Imagine, if you will, not just any old boyfriend, but someone special, someone with whom you were deeply in love. Years ago, for many practical reasons, you both realized you could not build a life together. It wasn’t anyone’s fault. You and he were simply too different. And so, after many tears, heartbreaks, and proclamations of undying devotion, you both went your separate ways and promised to keep in touch.

You have been happy without him. You’ve built a life that is both satisfying and meaningful. You no longer belong to him and feel no regrets. And yet you find yourself heading to a reunion of sorts. You both will be together again for the first time in years, and you are suddenly quite nervous. You are lost in thoughts of him. Will he look the same? Will his eyes still change from blue to green depending on his mood? What will he think of you? Hopefully he won’t notice the wrinkles, added pounds, or the stress acne on your right cheek. You hope he doesn’t ever think you are better off without him.

Even though you are.

You get to the designated meeting place and notice him right away. There are changes, signs of growth, joy, and also disappointment in his smile. But in many ways he is the same as the day you left him.

Why did you leave him?

He’s so smart and funny, full of charm and character. You understand each other and immediately feel comfortable. He even smells the same.

For hours, both of you are cautious and fight the urge to touch, but eventually emotion and nostalgia overtake you. Making love feels familiar and new at the same time. You are young again and cry with joy at another chance to relive a beautiful chapter in the story of your life.

It really was always this good. There were never bad times with him. He’s hot, hip, and knows how to wear a suit. He’s got a great body. Those were prosperous years when you were together, and everything was looking up; you were free to eat out every night of the week, drink expensive bottles of wine, or visit an art show and trendy movie. You could do whatever you wanted to do.

Back in the good old days, you learned about the world together and hoped that life would always be about love and laughter.

Why did you break up in the first place?

The reasons return slowly, differences gently presenting themselves again. He does have that habit of interrupting you and tends to believe he knows best – always. Once again, you sigh and smile. No one is to blame, you remember, you just want different things out of life. Wine and romance every evening grows tiresome after a while and you remember that your home is elsewhere. It might be a more traditional home with sometimes tedious responsibilities that involve carpools or shaving your man’s neck, but you belong there. It’s yours.

You’ve built happy lives away from each other and feel the familiar distancing again. Strangely enough, this time there is no drama or pain. The lessons you’ve learned together created two very strong and sturdy foundations that point in opposite directions.

So many love affairs end badly. You know you are lucky with this one, to have the comfort of mutual adoration and when you are apart, you still root for the other all the time. Maybe one day you will meet again (didn’t you want to retire together?), but maybe not.

Only time will tell.

Either way, he is an important love of your life, a love you were meant to make memories with instead of a life. So you smile and blow a kiss and leave him behind. Again.

Traveling to Boston feels like visiting an old boyfriend.

Let’s go home.