What advice would you give to a mom who goes on television without wearing industrial-strength undergarments?

I wear several hats. Some fit quite nicely over the mop and billboard-sized forehead, others are tight, while a few are too big. That’s okay, though. I wouldn’t want it any other way.

Like most mothers, I am a multi-tasking queen and cannot be defined simply by what comes out of my uterus.

There has to be more.

So, in addition to wife and mother, I have a day job. I am also a freelance writer. And in my spare time, I investigate missing socks.

My column about the joys of middle age appears every other Saturday in The Tampa Tribune.

I write about parenting and family here at Out in Left Field.

I also write about local issues for Creative Loafing. This week, my work made the front cover. Therefore, a local morning talk show asked me to visit this Thursday to discuss the story and reaction to it.

I’m a professional. I can handle a live, on-air discussion about anything. So what flashed through my mind after accepting the gig?

“Holy shit. I still haven’t worked off those holiday pounds, my Spanx is no longer effective, and I just ran out of concealer.”

After warning friends not to be frightened if they see me on Channel 10, Thursday morning, at 10am, they dispensed with some great advice.

“Remember to keep your leg still and do something about that Scranton accent.”

Fantastic.

If you’ll remember, dear readers, I was a guest on Studio 10 back in October. From that blog post:

Thursday morning, I arrived early and asked for the makeup room.

Lovely Receptionist blinked a few times.

“Where do you think you are?” she asked. “Oprah?”

The producer sent me further into panic mode with warnings about curse words, sex talk, and FCC fines. If I wasn’t thinking of all the different ways to say “f*ck” beforehand, it was definitely on my mind after signing the release forms.

Then another gentleman came over, slipped the microphone down my shirt, around my waist and hooked everything on to the back of my jeans.

“Now you know me as well as my husband and Jesus,” I told him.

I went home, saw the show myself, and couldn’t stop yelling at the television. HDTV is the devil. I thought my children would be on my side.

Youngest asked if he could wear sunglasses when we go to the grocery store.

Oldest rubbed my arm.

“You’re not embarrassed, are you?” I asked.

“Can Nana pick us up from school from now on? My friends are already calling you a communist.”

And yes, those curls are natural. I certainly wouldn’t do that on purpose.

Oh my. Wish me luck…

Tags: catherine durkin robinson on studio 10, creative loafing on studio 10, out in left field studio 10, Studio 10