Happiness is having a large and loving family that lives in another town

Mom always said she wanted her kids to live nearby, even on the same street. Several times this past week, with my siblings under her roof with their own children, I looked at her and yelled, above the deafening hum of Dad’s toy train speeding around the track, Champagne Supernova at full volume on someone’s iPod and three simultaneous arguments about what should be done in Haiti,

“How you like us now, Ma?”

I do believe I heard her mumble something about a trial separation, but that damn train whistle…

My parents are changing as they get older. I’m not talking about how Dad snores when awake or how Mom’s stories repeat on people like her meatloaf.

My parents are getting *opinionated.*

They aren’t the only ones, either. Many older relatives and friends exhibit the same behavior traits and offer unsolicited pieces of their mind.

Loudly, I might add. But that’s a different post.

I say this without an ounce of irritation or annoyance. I’m amused when my previously shy and quiet mother announces with God-given authority that “any child of mine putting on a brunch better have Bloody Marys and mimosas. I don’t care if it is the crack of dawn; I have a reputation to uphold.”

Dad’s always had a point of view. He just usually saved his zingers for his kids. Now no one is safe. My Aunt dragged him out for a two-mile walk one morning and before he knew it, the walk was over and he’d been caught up on all the Pennsylvania gossip.

“I don’t know which moved faster,” he told her after catching his breath, “your feet or your mouth.”

In recognizing this development, this constant sharing of inner thoughts, I’ve discovered the perfect response, a beautiful phrase; it has saved my life on more than one occasion.

It might save your life and sanity, too.

Ready?

“You may be right.”

It’s short, simple, and sweet, but this statement is better than almost anything out there, including, “two for the price of one” and “I’m buying.”

The speaker could mean, “You may be wrong,” but parents hear, “You’re right.”

Everyone wins.

Try it yourself.

You put your daughter on the carpet, howling, to wipe the messy high chair. Mom picks up *her baby*, shakes her head, and says, “When I was your age, I could hold a baby on one hip, stir the sauce, clean a mess, and blow my nose all at the same time. If you had some hips, maybe you could manage it, too.”

Instead of rolling your eyes or reserving a room at the Hyatt, try smiling and say,

“You may be right.”

A beloved older relative picks some bacon out of her teeth and says,

“It’s not your son’s fault you don’t wear waterproof mascara. Let him splash and enjoy tubby time. It’s supposed to be fun.”

Instead of scowling, just wink and say,

“You may be right.”

See how easy this is?

“You should have started writing about us years ago. Your career can only improve.”

“You may be right.”

“You all wouldn’t have caught each other’s cold and feel so goddamn miserable if just a one of you would drink some real liquor and eat your mother’s meatloaf.”

“You may be right.”

They smile and feel validated. You chuckle and feel smug. Works like a charm, every single time.

This might even work on your kids or your boss. Let me know if you have a different idea.

I bet you can guess my response.