My new Tampa Tribune column starts Saturday

Find it in the 4you section related to health and fitness.

If you just spit out your coffee or Chai tea, wondering what a 40 year-old mother of two with a scary cervix and industrial strength undergarments knows about health and fitness, you are not alone. I wondered the same thing.

Perhaps the fact that I can slap together breakfast and lunch, heat up dinner, run forgotten inhalers and water bottles to school, construct sentences with little or no grammatical error, make it to work on time, hardly ever forget deodorant, find the humor in health scares, and all without the help of mood stabilizers…maybe that means I am some sort of expert.

At first, I wasn’t sure what to name my little column. For inspiration, I enlisted the help of my support circle, just waiting to be of assistance, on Twitter and Facebook. This is networking at its finest, the perfect way to communicate with friends and family without actually speaking to them.

Here are some of their ideas about naming a column where the challenge is being 40 and staying fabulous.

Janine: Growing Young
David: 40 and fabulous? How about Oxymorons
Kelly: “My uterus has fallen, but I still like Justin Bieber!”
Jason: Self-Delusion

Me: David and Jason are no longer allowed to play.

Dad: Not my Parents’ Forty
Alex: Sex with Socks On
Tam: I like your dad’s idea.
Fran: David and Jason nailed it.
Cathy: Correctol Isn’t A Tool For Spellchecking.

Me: Is something wrong with having sex while wearing socks? Is it sexy if they have little piggies on them?

Cathy: I’m going with your dad’s idea.
John: Milestone, Not a Tombstone.
Husband: Decent Descent

Me: How about View from the Hill? Get it? I’m not OVER the hill, but I’m definitely ON it.

Adam: Sex and the City…The Later Years
Husband: A Trophy to Atrophy

Me: Is this thing on? Hello?

Stewart: Riding the Lightning, Bitches.
Jennifer: Cougar Talk.

Me: You’re not really a cougar until 45. And this is for a legitimate newspaper, people!

Abby: If life is just a load of laundry why do I always feel I’m being hung out to dry?
Robin: Takin’ my Lumps.
Mom: I’m voting for Dad’s suggestion. Naturally.
Sister: Me too.
Cathy: X Comes After Why

Me: I think I’m going with my own idea: View from the Hill

Dad: The way I see it I got 4 votes (the most in case you weren’t counting) and you did not go with the majority. I am not entering any more of your contests.

Too bad Shit my Dad Says is taken.