What do you want for Chanukah?

Pretty simple question, right?

I can’t get much of an answer out of my kids. I asked for wish lists and Oldest handed me a note where he wrote: “Best Chanukah gift – Love.”

Okay, Mother Theresa, you wanna relax? You’ve been hanging out with your Nana too much.

Still. The season isn’t about presents. It’s about family, togetherness, and the shits. (“These latkes are oily!”) Therefore, it bears repeating…

Chanukah. Eight crazy nights.

In our house, we break it down with a different theme each evening. Try these gift ideas and add them to your own celebration:

1st Night – Fun: Has to be something enjoyable. No other redeeming value necessary.

2nd Night – Homemade: The gift must be our own creation. Poem. Rant. Rave. Or stick figures glued together and colored with Crayola’s finest. More than likely these are future decorations to be stored away and taken out each December until the kids graduate college. Gifts that keep on giving.

3rd Night – Books: They are a treasure and more valuable than jewelry. You heard me. Old, new, paperback, hard cover – doesn’t matter. Whenever someone asks about movies for my children, I politely ask them to get books instead. A book is always better than the movie anyway.

4th Night – Family: A gift we all can use and appreciate. No honey, this doesn’t count. Nice try, though.

5th Night – Practical: Underwear. Socks. Sweaters. Important stuff.

6th Night – Charity: We bust open the piggy banks and donate some money to a worthy cause. We talk about why Joshua House, Mother Jones or the American Civil Liberties Union deserves our cash.

7th Night – Educational: Must *encourage* the use of brain cells instead of their destruction.

8th Night – Freebie: Whatever you want. As long as it isn’t dangerous or fattening.

Come up with some themes yourselves and don’t forget to pass the latkes and toilet paper. Happy Chanukah!