3 Comments

• Steve in Co says:

  November 30, 2009 at 9:25 pm

  Nothing like crass-commercialism meets religion. The rank hypocrisy would be funny if it weren’t so galling.

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• Quakerjono says:

  November 30, 2009 at 11:05 pm

  I went into a Christian bookstore chain this weekend searching for a nativity scene for my aunt because she’d requested one and I’d be damned if I shelled out the hideous amount of moola to buy the encephalitic Precious Moments one she had her eye on.

  I don’t get Precious Moments. Why are their heads always so grossly out of proportion? They’re always praying. Are they begging God, “Why have you cursed me thus?!?” or is it just that their necks can’t support those giant melons?

  What struck me, as a very sincere though fallible Christian, was how much it resembled a Barnes and Noble, down to even the color scheme. And, like Barnes and Noble has destroyed books, so will Mardel bookstores destroy what is precious about the Christian faith in a search for dollars and idolatry. While it was nice to see the (exactly) two yarmulkes they had for display, it was confusing to see all the eagle statues, motivational sayings burned into lacquered wood panels and wire dress forms littering the store. What do these things have to do with Christianity? In fact, there was so much “crap” that I couldn’t even FIND a nativity scene. Finally, after locating a Fischer-Price one, I asked a worker and they guided me to a single display of them, vastly overwhelmed by the looming face of Stephen Curtis Chapman who, apparently, watches over the music section like some sort of benevolent archangel while singing mildly uptempo songs about Jesus and stuff.

  Fuck it, I thought, she’s getting the Fischer-Price one.

  As I was checking out, I wished the nice lady at the checkout stand, “Merry Christmas”, because that’s what I celebrate this time of the year and if I want to wish it to you, I’m going to and you can just deal. Anyway, this nimrod said it back and then felt the need to add, “And we can SAY that here!” and then chuckled like we were both part of some superior joke.

  I just looked at her and then held up the toy and said, “Yeah, this is for a 67-year-old woman because you all have no selection of nativity scenes. The war on Christmas begins at home, evidently.” And walked out.

  Needless to say, I can’t show my face in there ever again, but then, why would I want to.

  And next year my aunt can buy her own damn Baby Jesus Battles SIDS scene and I’ll just drink through Black Friday.

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• kate says:

  December 2, 2009 at 8:20 pm

  I love your rants. Here, Facebook, anywhere.

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