Essentially, getting older is sort of a bitch.
Two months from my fortieth birthday, I’ve never looked or felt better.
Considering my high school and college years, this is pretty remarkable. I used to scare people with oversized t-shirts, an abrasive attitude, and hair that could withstand fifty-knot winds.
But now, after discovering exercise, obtaining a decent wardrobe allowance and growing my hair *down* instead of *out*, I’ve finally become a bit of a babe.
So naturally something’s wrong.
One could make an argument that Katie’s Super-Healthy status took a dive four years ago when my platelets hauled ass. More recently, I faced my first abnormal pap smear.
Last Monday, I dealt with the indignity of a colposcopy without cocktails.
Then, after several days of worrying and revising my eulogy, I got a call from my gynecologist’s medical assistant. She said no signs of cancerous cells can be seen up in my lovely.
“The results are essentially negative.”
Blink. Blink. Blink.
“Essentially negative?” I said. “What the fuck does that mean?”
…read more at Ether Books.
3 Comments
Leave a Reply
Disproportionately blessed...
Catherine Durkin Robinson
-
Snapshots
Learning Curves
Olivia’s Kiss
Ether Books
Find my short stories and columns on your iPhone, iPod, and iPad. Click here to download the app for free:
Circle Me Now
Socially Inappropriate
JOIN ME ON FACEBOOK AND TWITTER
FanTASTic post, Kate!
[...] those just tuning in, I’ve had some recent adventures regarding funk up in my junk. Then my primary care physician freaked out over high TSH numbers and immediately wanted me to take [...]
[...] low patelets, then an abnormal pap smear and colposcopy, followed by, for shits and giggles, a cyst on my thyroid that’s too small to [...]