Fallout from President Obama’s speech

Yesterday was crazy. The first day back after a long weekend, I tried to motivate my exhausted kids to hustle in the morning and instead ended up cursing about teeth in need of brushing, toilets in need of flushing, and one mommy in need of medication.

Crazy.

After dropping my boys off at school, I fought traffic jams next to psychopaths who make New Jersey drivers seem well-adjusted. Got to work and spilled hummus all over the entrance to my office building. Bent down to clean it and flashed half the men inside.

Two complained.

Five minutes later, I encountered a roach near my desk the size of a small rat. Left work and drove to the post office only to find a forty-five minute line in front of me.

While waiting and daydreaming about happy hour, I overheard two young women discussing the “indoct-eran-nay-tion” of our youngsters. These southern belles who stay at home with their kids, spending hours engaged in stimulating conversations about how to fake an orgasm, long to live in Texas because the people there have sense.

“Louella,” one of them said to the other, “sure as I’m a settin’ here today, I don’t need no Pres-ee-dent tellin’ my kids to stay in school. We learn ‘em at home, Praise Jeee-sus, and no buh-lack man is gonna say diff’ernt.”

I panicked for a moment.

My kids. I forgot to remind my kids about the goddamn speech.

“Relax, Catherine, they are in a progressive school, working hard alongside future Einsteins, Seinfelds, and Madoffs. I’m sure the teachers will have President Obama’s education speech televised on every plasma, high definition screen on campus.”

Still. I called the school just to make sure.

“We’ll be showing President Obama’s speech in the middle school during lunch for every child who wants to watch.”

Shit.

Used to be a time when you could send your kids to a private Jewish school and buy a liberal bias right along with the kosher snack. We’ve gotten so fucked up in this country that the grandchildren of socialist sympathizers are now afraid to be themselves amongst their own!

Who ever heard of a group of Heebs getting to choose between recess and politics…

Double shit.

My kids love recess after lunch. They might not get advanced quantum physics like Albert Greenberg or rank number one in Florida chess tournaments like Hannah Abramowitz, but my boys have enough Irish in ‘em to kick some ass on the football field. Would they give up that kind of glory to hear President Obama speak?

I picked them up from school with my fingers crossed.

“How was your day?” I asked.

“Good,” Oldest said. “We watched President Obama’s speech.”

Ahhh, the fruit of my liberal loins.

“Really?” I was too proud. “What did he say?”

“He said we should stay in school. We might not always like the teachers or a certain subject, but our education is our responsibility.”

“He also said we shouldn’t be afraid of failure,” Youngest chimed in. “Michael Jordan missed thousands of baskets before he became a superstar. Failure is what made him want to get good.”

I beamed.

Now before you stomp on my buzz and imply that taking my children to Michael Moore rallies early on prepped them for this kind of outcome, I will tell you that several friends have children who are *not* politically inclined. Those kids got it, too.

In other words, President Obama spoke to all of them.

Most kids walked away from that televised talk with a renewed sense of education’s importance. Kids as young as five retained the messages to work hard and stay in school.

A few of them even washed their hands last night before dinner without being asked because President Obama told them to.

Personal responsibility, working hard, and clean hands. Is this what had Republicans so scared?

Yep, yesterday was crazy.

Tags: kids, president obama, President Obama's education speech, President Obama's speech