Why does a naked Glamour model’s tummy roll make us feel anything?

If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. – Desiderata

I have lots of girl friends – tall, short, thin, fat. Ask if we love ourselves and the reply depends on the day. Sometimes we wake up feeling like Darryl Hannah circa 1984 and sometimes we wake up feeling like Darryl Hannah circa 2009.

Who feels like she has the perfect body? No one I know. Even those of us who’ve paid for improvements aren’t delusional. Yet most of my girls feel comfortable in their own skin, despite imperfections sometimes only we see, and happily live, breathe, eat, drink, laugh, and love.

Just because someone doesn’t want to get into a bathing suit or fuck with the lights on doesn’t mean they aren’t comfortable or knee-deep in self-love. It sometimes just means they haven’t had enough to drink yet.

So get off them.

Lizzi Miller, a twenty year-old model, posed for a picture and its publication instantly struck a chord with so many females because she’s beautiful and happy and hangs a little down in front. The same reaction occurred when a Julia Roberts belly picture surfaced not long ago.

Women like to see themselves in others. But only to a certain extent. These same magazines feature articles and ads about how to diet, get rid of belly weight, and stay moist through menopause. But every once in a while, pictures like Lizzi’s validate and confirm that average women exist and can smile in a thong.

I too like to see women feeling good about themselves.

But there is something strange about the comments relating to Lizzi’s photo. It’s quite obvious that the imperfections in others make us feel better about our own.

Why?

After giving birth to twins, losing baby weight, and getting into shape, I wanted to puke every time I got out of the shower and caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. It didn’t matter to me if pictures were produced in magazines of similar women (hello…National Geographic?), I still wanted to get rid of the extra skin. Period.

So I did.

But it didn’t mean I didn’t love myself. It just meant I could do without all the flab.

So snip snip. End of story.

Women who choose cosmetic surgery are not suffering from low self-esteem. Quite the opposite really.

I still have hips, wrinkles, and don’t get me started on my jaw. Doggie style with the lights on is still not going to happen. I will never be a size 0, but I take good care of myself and like the way I look in a bathing suit.

Why isn’t that okay when it’s okay for Lizzi to love herself without surgical intervention?

The danger here is when you compare yourself with others. It never ends well. I wonder about those women applauding Lizzi and leaving comments on websites about empowerment and acceptance.

Many of them are full of shit.

They remind me of some women I know who were once quite beautiful, gained a ton of weight, and now sit around feeling shitty about themselves. And everyone else.

I’ve been to their parties.

They get together and complain about skinny bitches like me. They pretend we don’t love ourselves. They say stupid shit like “why have the branch when you can have the whole tree?” They accuse us of being neurotic and contributing to unrealistic ideas about female beauty.

Then they choke down another fucking Ding Dong.

What happens if Lizzi decides in her mid-thirties that she is sick of the flab and wants a doctor to remove what she can’t get rid of herself? I’ll tell you what will happen: her chunky best friend will hit the high road, feminists will accuse her of betrayal, and the cheerful applause, from insecure women who desperately need a role model but can’t perform the job themselves, will turn to jeers and insults.

Girls, fat and thin alike: nothing should make you feel bad or good about you – except you.

Ignore what the media, your friends, and your man have to say.

Do you like what you see in the mirror?

It shouldn’t take a picture in a magazine to justify your choices. Deal with the image staring back at you and what she whispers in your ear each night before you go to sleep.

Lizzi, Julia Roberts, the media and your best friend shouldn’t matter. Not one bit.

Tags: julia roberts belly, lizzi miller, naked glamour model's tummy roll