Vegetarian Mommy Blues

Nothing strikes more fear in the heart of a vegetarian mother than her child saying, “Mom, I ate a hot dog today.”
Oldest laid that one on me the other day and I still haven’t recovered.
Their Tae Kwon Do camp had an outdoor barbecue. I explained to the counselors that my children don’t dig on animal flesh and they promised to provide cruelty-free fare.
Oldest saw what he believed to be a vegetarian hot dog and, true to form, inhaled it. Youngest, also true to form, actually read the label and before he could get out the words, “Beef. This has beef in it,” Oldest burped.
The counselor said, “Kosher doesn’t mean vegetarian?”
I almost had a stroke. Who doesn’t know the difference between Kosher and meat-free?
“Where the hell are we?” I asked. “Lutz?”
Oh right. We are in Lutz.
Oldest spent most of the night on the potty. Truth be told, I was disappointed he didn’t get sicker.
I wanted a touching Mommy-Son moment where I talked about the ramifications of eating lips and assholes.
Oh well. There’s always high school.








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Kate—
Forgive me but as you are aware, I am a prolific meat eater. Ribs, butts, shoulders, loins, I love it all. With that said, I certainly would know the difference between meat-free and kosher and I would respect each person’s right to choose between eating meat or not. I’ll joke around with Vegetarians as I have with you, but I still highly respect people for what they choose to consume.
Now, if I may introduce another subject.
Will you help spread the word, Big Ideas for Anti-Bullying. I would like to see professional film companies (in Orlando for example) get involved with students to highlight awareness for anti-bullying. I want major news outlets to report on it all year. I hope TV and radio networks will provide free public service airtime for campaigns about anti-bullying.
Tons of talent resides within our public school system (and districts throughout the state) if only someone would coordinate the effort. If it catches on maybe, it will go statewide.
Let’s see if we can take this opportunity to lessen bullying behavior. The legislature has spoken against bullying and written a law. Here in Hillsborough County we have a prominent case of bullying taken to the extreme. We should strike while the iron is hot and make a real difference!