Tales of a Fourth Grade Something

My children are about to begin summer vacation.

Which means I’m about to begin drinking before noon.

They will attend tae kwon do camp along with swimming and dancing lessons. My mother is telling people her summer job is about to begin. I told everyone at the office, “Stock up on green tea, bitches – I’m comin’ in.”

Gotta have some peace and quiet and Muzak.

Hopefully I’ll be able to replenish the brain cells that get destroyed every time I yell, “Inside voice”, “Walking feet” or “Leave Grandpa alone – he’s watching Venom Hunter!”

I can’t believe my babies are done with third grade. It won’t be long before high school comes along and I start wondering,

“Where did the years go? It seems like just yesterday they were in elementary school and now they have back hair. What the fuck?”

Can’t wait.

But for now, I’m going to soak them in and love all that is wonderful, delicious, and delightful about my two nine year-old boys.

Should only take a moment.

Favorite story from this past year: My mom was making good, old-fashioned, Irish potato pancakes for dinner one night. After the whole family inhaled enough to feed a small village, my kids hugged her and said, “Aren’t you glad we came into your life so you could learn how to make latkes?”

Good times.

My children are both doing great in school, opinionated about everything, talented at guitar, athletic on the ball field, and sweet when they get what they want.

But they do have their differences.

Oldest is a wise soul. He loves history and my favorite time of day with him is in the morning when he wakes up. This cute little boy walks out into the kitchen and, with brown eyes barely open, he squints at the Sports page and announces the results of all games involving Boston teams first, then Tampa (where we snicker and hold our noses), followed by Colorado. We have to remind our baby boy to slow down, whether he’s eating, talking, or finishing his homework. I love to watch him read or write, using his first two fingers to space out each paragraph. He likes spinach dip, egg rolls, and anything his Nana makes for dinner. Thank goodness he still needs hugs and love and his “After Shema talk” before ending each day with a kiss. “So just you know.”

Youngest is a wise ass. And I mean that in the best sense of the term. He likes to joke, goof around and dance up a storm. We call him Our Rabbi because he knows more than Moses and even puts his hands on his head for dinner prayers when he can’t find his yarmulke. He has developed a taste for fashion and likes his hair to look perfect before heading out to school or even just a trip to the store. “I have no entire clue” and “to tell you the truth” are two of his favorite sayings. He takes his time when writing and doing his homework, wanting everything to be correct and look good. We are always happy when he tries new food, wants snuggle time, and asks for attention instead of acting out.

They both love to watch Jeopardy.

These beautiful kids, who raise my blood pressure and lower my bank balance, are two of my favorite people on the planet.

I hope they don’t grow up too soon.

Because I really don’t need two more grownups in the world reading my jokes, getting offended and sending me hate mail.

Congratulations, it was a rockin’ year, big boys. Here’s to a great summer.

Tags: summer vacation