Are We Over the Octuplets Saga – Or Just Beginning?
I’ve read all the arguments about Nadia Suleman’s story – welfare mom giving birth to eight children when she has six of her own back home – and the national outrage associated with it.
Some of the arguments lead to other arguments. I’ve talked with women who have used IVF successfully and yet feel free to say that other women should be banned due to socio-economic factors.
So I asked if Nadia Suleman should have used selective reduction, a medical procedure where a doctor reduces higher-order multiples to a more manageable number, usually two.
Although. I’m here to tell you. Two ain’t always so manageable.
But I digress.
These IVF moms, who consider themselves pro-life, are quick to say that abortion, no matter how it’s phrased, should not be an option.
At that point, such women get confused and then usually drop the subject.
I’ve never used IVF. My twins happened by chance, or maybe God, if God exists, decided to have some fun by zapping my uterus as I walked the streets of Boston in the early days of my pregnancy.
Or maybe it was that roller coaster I rode when I was two days pregnant.
Who knows?
At any rate, before we started trying, I always said that if Husband and I didn’t get pregnant, we’d never use medicine. We’d either adopt or, more realistically, travel the world as a happy childless couple without premature grey hair and wrinkles brought on by yelling at kids who never listen anyway.
I know. That’s easy for me to say. Turns out we did get pregnant and that was that.
I’d certainly never deny anyone else the right to use fertilization.
Or would I?
When people suggest that income levels or the fact that the couple already has children or maybe even marital status should be taken into account when determining a candidate for IVF – it sounds reasonable to me. I’ve said before that IN THEORY not only should poor people not breed, but neither should people who are ill (mentally or physically), developmentally delayed, or have a host of other problems that would prevent them from being responsible parents.
Of course, I’d prefer these were choices such people made and not anything legislated, but doctors should play a part in the process. They should be concerned with helping reasonable people bring children into this world, but also should help protect the world by turning some patients away.
That’s why I enjoyed this article in Newsweek. Dr. Mark I. Evans said it best.
“Overlooked in the happy news, though, are are the troubling surges in neonatal deaths, developmental disabilities and other long-term problems.”
Maybe women who aren’t comfortable with reduction should think twice before manipulating their bodies in the first place. If they’re so big on God’s will and the sanctity of life, why not leave the *whole* thing up to God?
Or perhaps just a decent doctor?
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I am fine with IVF. But…..there should be a limit of 3 embryos implanted. That’s it. A woman’s body is not meant to hold that many babies and the babies suffer. They are born too early and suffer serious health complications. This woman is selfish. There is no other way to put it. She was thinking only of herself and not of her other children, her parents, who shoulder the burden of raising all these children, and the lives of the new babies.
I’ve certainly enjoyed reading your posts and have agreed with many until today. Good parenting has been a life long quest for me as well as working in Special Education. I do agree that some people should not reproduce but finances never came to mind. A lot of us wouldn’t be here today if that was true. I’ve known many welfare Moms able to rise up and conquer and their children move on to be responsible, productive citizens, breaking the welfare chain. I also think it unfair of you to presume people developmentally delayed or have a host of physical problems would prevent them from being responsible parents. It’s just not true and that statement gives me creepy feelings of days gone by when Hitler was forming his perfect world.
With that off my chest I do believe Nadia to be a selfish, inconsiderate, poor excuse for a mom.
I’m uncomfortable with it in general. Does anyoen remember the couple who were crying for donations so they could try IVF becasue they couldn’t get pregnant the normal way…. And it turns out they owned two homes and were making a load of money as was?
And what about the kids in the foster system or orphanages? They don’t count for nothing or should be neglected because IVF is such a great thing you can have X number of children all at once? That having your “own” kids is more important than adopting kids that belogn to no one as is?
Isn’t that sort of cruel? “Abortion should never be an option… but I don’t want to try adoption. Too much paperwork!”
Well, Barbara, it was bound to happen. Whenever anyone says they like my writing, I always respond with, “Give it time.”
And while I’m uncomfortable saying and believing that we should NOT all be breeding, I can’t not say it just because it’s uncomfortable.
If you cannot afford children, in theory, I do not believe you should have them. I’m not talking about absolving people of their parental rights if they fall on bad times and need government assistance. I’m talking about responsible people deciding ahead of time that they cannot provide a decent life for such children and so therefore aren’t going to have them.
I wish more people made that kind of conscience decision not to have kids.
And obviously there are people with certain mental and/or physical ailments and such ailments do not prevent them from being great parents. Therefore I’m not talking about them.
I wouldn’t take the Hitler stance, but I would like to get at the root of why so many unfit parents take on the duty to begin with – so we can encourage them to go in other directions.
I get that people want kids. But I do believe that we shouldn’t always get what we want – and shouldn’t – if the price is paid by someone else.
If I am asked to fork over my tax dollars to support these families – perhaps I should have a say in how or whether they are formed in the first place.
If it is ok for businesses receiving government assistance to be guided in their business decisions by Uncle Sam, I am confused why many are so uncomfortable with similar lifestyle guidance to be provided for those receiving personal government assistance.
Good point, Enigma…I like you.
Aw gee Miss Crabtree.
Right back atcha kid.