…but I’m a skinny b*tch.

I enjoy books that challenge what I think and feel, but sometimes it’s nice to read a page-turner that validates my life choices. Makes me feel less alone in the world.

Plus I always welcome more ammunition when some know-nothing numbnut hears one of my kids has a cold and says, “Give the boy a burger!”

Skinny Bitch is such a book.

Not only did I nod nine hundred times and mumble, “Exactly!” but I also learned a great deal more about healthy food choices and the evils of the meat industry. Ammunition indeed.

It’s not for everyone. Rory Freedman and Kim Barnouin use no-nonsense words to make their point and don’t waste time sugar-coating the facts for sensitive souls who need to get their heads out of their fat asses in order to be healthy and skinny.

Sound familiar?

Before you blow the authors and me off as just another vegangelical, listen up. Here are some words of wisdom.

“This is not a diet. This is a way of life. A way to enjoy food. A way to feel healthy, clean, energized and pure. It’s time to reclaim your life and body.”

“Beer is for frat boys, not skinny bitches. It makes you fat, bloated, and farty.”

“Soda is liquid Satan.”

“Have no faith: government agencies don’t give a shit about your health.”

“Good heath, vitality, more energy, more confidence, better sex, great abs, a tight ass – you either want ‘em or you don’t.”

Their reasoning against eating eggs and dairy didn’t fall on deaf ears. I’ve suspected for quite some time that the bulge around my hips and sensitive skin problems were the result of my cheese and dairy addiction. Skinny Bitch was simply the impetus I needed to take control and stop eating these last two categories of animal byproducts.

I wouldn’t say I’m a vegan now – because who knows when a milkshake might call my name? But I feel better already.

Before you think I’ve gone and slurped the last of the crazy kool-aid, pay attention. There were tons of advice to disregard. For example, they suggest you eat when ravenous. Not necessary. Make good choices and graze small helpings all day. Keeps metabolism working and the pounds are off in no time.

Skinny Bitch won’t win any converts. The book is for women who are tired of eating crap and showering in the dark. It’ll especially help women who don’t feel as good as they could and want to change that. It’s not about skinny, despite the title. It’s about being healthy. Plain and simple. If you’re ready to feel good and look even better, Skinny Bitch is for you.

The rest who want to continue to pretend that hamburger and brownie dessert tastes as good as being thin feels – keep kidding yourself.

I will say this, though: Starting a healthier eating regimen in South Dakota and Wyoming is not for the faint of heart. Two restaurants had never heard of soy and three didn’t have fruit “of any kind.”

I did it anyway, though. And you can too.

“Don’t be a fat pig anymore. You know what you have to do, now do it.”

h/t Becky