Her Name Was Rachel Corrie

Rachel Corrie, like many of us, was forever changed by the events of 9/11.

Rachel Corrie, unlike many of us, decided to redirect that anger toward Israel.

She didn't blame Muslims or Saudi Arabia or even our country for ignoring the warning signs.

It’s the fault of those goddamn Jews.

How unoriginal. Martin Luther, Adolf Hitler and Arabs the world over would be so proud.

Rachel Corrie joined a radical, anti-Semitic organization that recruits ill-informed, naïve western idealists, convinces them to travel to Israel, encourages them to put themselves in harm’s way - all the while justifying Palestinian terrorism against Israeli civilians.

Rachel Corrie, a privileged American white girl, grabbed a bullhorn, neon vest, and hightailed it over to Gaza where she stood in front of bulldozers - interjecting herself into a complicated situation she knew little about.

Rachel Corrie was crushed to death by such a bulldozer in 2003.

Rachel Corrie’s mom blames Caterpillar Inc. Not radical leftists for using Rachel or Rachel herself.

Caterpillar. Oh, and the goddamn Jews.

A play honoring Rachel’s life played to packed audiences in London. Next stop, Broadway. Except New York Jews weren’t having it. They have a problem glorifying a young girl who played the pawn of Palestinian-terrorist sympathizers.

Part of why the East Coast rocks.

So the play shut down before it was shown.

The play opened in Denver this past weekend.

There is something profoundly disturbing about the arrogance Americans show when traveling to war-torn areas with a mission to create mischief. As if this bubble of democracy and fairness will protect us.

It will not.

Gaza isn't downtown Des Moines and when you leave American soil to stand in front of a large machine and end up squashed like a bug, well, you have no one to blame but yourself.

While tragic, Rachel's death was her own doing.

As an aside, I'd like to know - where were the Palestinians she was fighting for? The picture above, featured in The Denver Post, made it seem she stood alone.

What a waste.

And suing Caterpillar, Inc. for making the bulldozers that killed Rachel doesn't make sense either. They were not built to be weapons. You wanna sue someone? How about the people who make bombs and guns that were designed to kill. Innocent men, women, and children are dead the world over.

But the House of Representatives should investigate *this* particular death. Cause she had blonde hair and spoke with an American accent.

Rachel was used by a leftist organization more interested in headlines and destroying the Jewish state than the humanitarian label it hides behind.

Along with a young girl who should have known better, they are to blame.

Not Caterpillar. And not the Jews.

The heartbreak here is a life stopped short - for nothing.

Fix Wiretapping Law

Our representatives in Congress gave in to Bush and his accomplices by approving a law that allows wiretapping of American citizens without a warrant. Now Bush is using "basket warrants" to listen in on any call, as long as the administration (not a judge) has "reasonable belief" that one of the parties in said call is located overseas.

When Congress allowed Bush to bully them into passing this bad law, the law was only approved for six months. Now the House and Senate are being pressured once again to enshrine these powers into permanent law, without the sunset provisions that are currently in force.

Gets worse.

Legislation now being discussed would retroactively authorize violations of the wiretapping law in previous years, granting blanket civil-lawsuit immunity to big telecom companies that helped Bush break the law.

Tell your reps that you'd like stronger protections on your privacy -- not capitulation once again to Bushies and Verizon.

Stop the NRA

Earlier this week, our allies in the U.S. Senate tried to move a bill to the Senate floor for a vote that would strengthen the Brady background check system and make it harder for criminals and other dangerous people to buy firearms.

But one Senator, Tom Coburn (R-OK), blocked consideration of the bill and this critical measure remains "on hold" in the Senate.

A similar bill was passed by the House in June, and now we need the Senate to act! Please email your Senators today and tell them to pass the National Instant Check System (NICS) Improvement Act and strengthen Brady background checks.

CLICK HERE TO EMAIL YOUR U.S. SENATORS TODAY.

For Our Babies' Sake

You've probably heard that the President plans to veto funding for the program which provides healthcare for kids whose parents work but can't afford insurance.

Dude wants to spend the money prolonging the Iraq occupation instead. $190 billion! Is he f*cking kidding me?

We must stand up for our children and prove once and for all George Bush doesn't represent the kind of America we'd like to see.

Click here to be part of this push to put kids' healthcare first.

Cause someone has to.

From Drinking Liberally - Colorado Springs

If you've joined us since we made the move to The Coffee Exchange earlier this year, you've had contact with our wonderful server Lizz.

Unfortunately, Lizz will be leaving us after our next meeting - fortunately, it will be for bigger and better things.

As a token of our appreciation, we're buying Lizz a going away gift. If you would like to contribute, you can do so using the PayPal link that can be found on the Drinking Liberally - Colorado Springs blog. The link will allow you to donate any amount that you'd like.

Additionally, be sure to join us at our next meeting, Tuesday, October 2nd, to give Lizz a proper send-off.

Finally, don't forget that our two year anniversary is coming up after that - Tuesday, October 16th.

Assbag of the Week

George Bush.

Your president and mine, folks.

So proud.

No Issue Pisses Me Off More

I don't mind that Republicans and their f*cked up leader are heading off a cliff.

I just wish they weren't dragging millions of children along with them.

Pro-life my *ass*.

Submit Ideas Now

Someone suggested painting them like the mountains that surround our house.

Another thought maybe a countdown of Bush's last days in office across the top would be appropriate.

What else ya got?

Next week I'm donating another picture of the girls to our favorite cause. Last year, I did politics. This year, it's up to you. Here are some previously-used ideas (NSW) to get the creative juices flowing.

Or something.

I welcome your thoughts.

Speaking of Smiting

Youngest comes home with a folder full of artwork. I look and find -


"What's this?" I ask.

"A sword."

"Oh. Tell me a little about it."

(long pause)

"It's a sword," he says.

"And what's this design on the sword?"

"A hospital."

(long pause)

"Are you sure?" I ask. "Cause it looks a lot like a cross."

"Nope. Hospital. And our team is called the Caring Crusaders."

Fantastic.

Who's idea was it to move here?

Get Off My Son

A little girl, two doors down, plays with my boys from time to time. She's six years old. Cute kid.

"They can't play today, sweetie" I said this past weekend. "It's a holiday and we're on our way back to Temple."

Bambi* looked up at me, blue eyes twinkling, blonde hair shiny in the sunlight.

Clearly confused.

"My mommy didn't tell me it's a holiday."

"Well, it's not a holiday for everyone, sweetie. Today is Yom Kippur. A Jewish holiday."

(long pause)

"Oh."

"Do you have any Jewish friends?" I asked.

"No..."

"Well, you do now. Isn't that cool?"

(long pause)

"You can always come over tomorrow."

"Tomorrow's Church Day," she said. "We go to church. We learn a lot in church."

"Fantastic," I said. "Let's try for Monday."

Figured we'd never see her again. But she came over yesterday and played for a while in the backyard with my kids and other children from the neighborhood.

Cooking dinner, I looked out the window and gazed lovingly at the playing children. Doing my best Donna Reed impersonation, I -

Ohmygod.

The little six year-old harlot is on top of my oldest son. As he wrestles away from her, she plants a wet one on his lips.

"Learn that in church?" I mumbled, making my way to the door.

"Okay, Shiksa," I called outside, "let's keep our hands to ourselves! No kissing until college!"

Bambi will be full of warts by 10th grade if she keeps this up. Goddamn born-agains.

Few minutes later, Bambi came into the kitchen and smiled. I smiled back. Like I said, cute kid.

"You know what my mommy told me?" she asked.

Husband and I looked at each other and back at the kid. Could hardly wait to hear this bit of Christian goodness.

"What?" I asked.

She put her hand over her mouth and shook her head.

"It's a secret," she said and bolted out the door.

Hmmmm...

I watched her try to hump the boy from across the street and wondered what her Mommy told her.

Big secret and all.

"Jews have horns," Husband said. "That's probably the big secret. I caught her looking at your hair."

"Oh, everyone does that. They're surprised it doesn't move when the wind blows."

I looked back out the window. A secret, huh? Bet she talks within two weeks.

I'll keep ya posted.

My Kids Could Play Ball for This Guy

Mike Gundy.

Hero.

'Nuff said.

Trust Your Heart

John Edwards consistently comes out on the correct side of every issue.

And he's always first.

John Edwards offers real change to those of us who want to see a better country, universal health care, and a way to bring our soldiers home.

And he's always honest and sincere.

There's nothing not to like.

Because Beth Asked

Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is in New York City.

I fail to see why everyone is so worked up about it. Seriously, if *I* went to Columbia...

(you just totally spit out your coffee, didn't you?)

...I wouldn't protest. I'd show the guy around.

Brother wants to blend in and do the tourist thing. Just like any other Middle Eastern fanatic. Eat some pizza and see Spamalot. Maybe pick up a purse on Canal St. for the Mrs.

Oh, and visit ground zero to spit on our sorrow.

If he can pull himself away from those cupcakes at Magnolia.

Best part of his speech wasn't when he denied the Holocaust.

It was when he denied there are homosexuals in Iran.

Quality stuff. Sounds like my neighbor Tom, extremely effeminite Youth Pastor of He Will Rise to Smite You.

"...we don't have homosexuals... I don't know who's told you that we have this."

The "petty and cruel dictator" has probably never been so publicly challenged. Too bad he didn't have time to get into how frogs don't cause warts, Iranian President's wives are scientifically shown to always have headaches at hump-hump time, some camels are quite attractive, and the 2000 election was won by George Bush.

He responded as if humiliated and scorned. Sorta looked like Tommy Lee after Kid Rock got through with him.

Good.

Next year, I hope they invite Tucker Carlson.

I'll bring the popcorn.

Fragments of My Life - Wandering Free

People say it's hard to make friends as we get older. I disagree. Wherever I go, I've been fortunate enough to make some truly wonderful connections.

Becky sometimes teases me and says, "Oh, you like everyone."

True. There is something to like in just about everyone. When we connect, I try to treat acquaintances the way I'd like to be treated. Therefore, it's no secret why we stay in touch. I make others feel good about themselves.

Except when I don't. Cause sometimes, I won't.

But most peeps appreciate the kindness and consideration.

Plus - never underestimate the power of a quality rack and winning smile. Wins 'em over every time.

However, with the exception of a precious few, many friends sort of blow in returning the good vibes. I'll repeat myself - I try to treat others the way I'd like to be treated.

I don't treat them that way to get it back, though. It'd be nice, but that's just not why I do it.

Good thing, too. Cause I'd be sh*t out of luck.

So, they keep in sporadic touch because I'm a delight. Fine. But why do *I* keep in touch with *them*?

This past weekend, what with all the hunger-induced introspection goin' on - I couldn't help but ponder why I reach out to so many people who - although the affection is there in limited doses - have trouble consistently returning my affections, good wishes, etc.?

Could such folks, who swear they're "just busy', be considered real friends? Some might say no. I say they are and refuse to cut them loose. I cannot, will not, utter the words, "Take off, hoser." I won't stop emailing or even calling once in a while.

Unless they ask nicely.

If I see something that reminds me of them - I'll let them know. I remember birthdays and special events. This is part of my charm.

My gang of whack jobs are important to me - all 900 of them - for various reasons. We played together as kids. Or we played together as adults. At one point or another, he or she taught me something. We share memories, both good and bad. In the hustle of everyday life, they're still out there breathing and living and I want to them to know they're in my thoughts. Even if it's only once or twice a year.

They're in. Forever.

Letting them know I care makes them feel good. And that, in turn, makes me feel good.

So maybe that's why I keep in touch with them.

There's another reason, too.

They make me appreciate those "precious few" even more than I already do. The man who sleeps next to me every night, the best friend who can read my facial expressions from across a room, siblings and parents who put up with me, friends who email to check in, relatives who reach out, and loved ones back home who remember the time of day I was born or who just "call to chat".

They shine brighter than all the rest.

My heart is big enough for close and distant friends. But my warmest thoughts and devotion are reserved for those who make time to show their love for *me*.

And this seems like a good time to say thank you.

SCHIP

In seven days, millions of low-income kids will lose their health insurance unless the funding is renewed.

The House votes tomorrow.

I'm going to call Congressman Doug Lamborn and ask him to vote for the State Children's Health Insurance Program.

Join me.

Congressman Doug Lamborn
Phone: 202-225-4422

Celebrate Freedom - Read a Banned Book

Several years in a row, I would make a huge poster for my classroom. The poster included a list of books that were banned somewhere in America.

Currently banned. Like, today.

Books such as Catcher in the Rye, Uncle Tom's Cabin, and my own personal favorite, To Kill a Mockingbird.

The poster also included the words: Free People Read Freely.

My students were encouraged to read at least one of the books, complete a traditional or alternative book report, and turn it in for extra credit.

Banned Books Week is September 29 - October 6.

I still give extra credit. So pick one and tell me about it. Celebrate some freedom yourself.

Just a Reminder to Parents - Encourage Your Kids

This could easily, one day, with some hard work and a little luck - turn into this.

Ya never know.

Brought to You by Charmin

Television cameras invade spelling bees and baseball games.

Children pimp products from apple juice to bubble gum.

Kids pose suggestively, pout in pageants, cry on cue for movies, and we call it art.

It's not art.

It's glorified child abuse.

Then there's this.

And still - people get worked up about *anything* but how we treat the most vulnerable among us.

Amazing.

Wonder who's going to play Malachai?

Yom Kippur Giggles

Just to clarify, I don't apologize if:

a) you asked for it.
b) you deserved it.
c) I'm not sorry.

Otherwise, we're good.

Here is some high holy day humor to keep the minds off the rumbling tummies.

"I hate spunk!"

"Now you know what Mommy goes through every day to make a hot body for Daddy."

"I would never do that on the high holy days!"

No Offense Dude

But it's not how we treat unborn children -

It's how we treat children who've already been born - that's the problem.

Specifically, it's how *parents* treat *their* children who've already been born - that's the problem.

"Godless school system..."

My. F*cking. Ass.

Check with Eric and Dylan's mommies and daddies, if you can find them, and give credit where credit is due.

You heard me.

Winnie - You're a Pooh.

Winnie Tye is a Special Education Guru in the Hillsborough County School District back in Tampa.

She's got a sh*tload of superior educators who are about to go out of their minds because they are attempting to call parents, oversee caseloads of 25-30 students, complete state-mandated paperwork, manage classrooms of challenged learners, deal with behavior problems, complete lesson plans, grade papers, and take an overdue piss all within the allotted fifty minute conference period.

At a recent meeting where her beloved professionals warned this kind of schedule was not conducive to the instruction needed to produce better test scores, the almighty administrator responded with -

"It's time to put on your big girl panties and quit complaining."

When teachers finally walk away - I hope they say the same to her.

Another "President Bush Sucks" Moment

What is mountaintop removal mining?

It's when coal companies blast apart the tops of mountains to reach coal buried below.

Then they dump millions of tons of the waste rock into valleys below, forever burying streams and polluting rivers that provide drinking water to millions of Americans.

President Bush legalized mountaintop removal mining in 2002 after it had been banned for a quarter century.

Representatives Frank Pallone (D-NY) and Christopher Shays (R-CT) are now introducing H.R. 2169, the Clean Water Protection Act - legislation that will effectively end mountaintop removal mining by preventing companies from dumping their waste in rivers and streams.

Sign this petition asking your representative to support this important legislation.

Go MoveOn.Org. Go Me. Go All of Us.

"We will not be quiet, we will fight back. We will keep speaking out until Congress forces an exit plan for this awful war."

I'll admit it. This ad didn't bother me in the least.

I know that it bothered others. And so, those of you with panties in a wad, I want to know -

Did this bullsh*t bother you as much?

Did you blog about it? Scream about it?

What about this nonsense?

If not, what's the godd*mn difference? I'll give you a hint - our ad isn't filled with lies.

Hysterical hypocrites. Every last one of you.

Congress can't get its act together to allow our soldiers adequate leave with their families before redeploying.

Can't get our soldiers home.

But they sure as hell can condemn those of us who feel compelled to speak out against an unjust war and the lies that are keeping us there.

They condemned *me* today.

And I say to hell with them.

Ecclesiastical White-Out

This is my family’s favorite time of year. Close friends feel the same way.

No, not because summer heat gives way to cool autumn breezes bringing fresh energy and enthusiasm.

No, not because football season is here.

Not because we anticipate golden leaves eventually falling underneath our feet as we crunch our way to work.

And not because new television shows finally pull us away from Internet chat rooms.

Family and friends enjoy this time of year because it’s almost Yom Kippur and that means they’ll get to hear me say, “I’m sorry.”

This Saturday, Jews everywhere will observe a Day of Atonement. The week or so preceding Yom Kippur is usually spent contemplating our lives, figuring out what went wrong, and making every effort to improve in the upcoming year.

Then we spend our High Holy Day in synagogue, fasting and praying, asking God to forgive our sins.

Sometimes, beforehand, we apologize to loved ones as well. For years I’ve followed this tradition because it makes sense. Before asking God to forgive us, we must first forgive each other.

My mea culpa is humbling and entertaining.

Relatives laugh.

Friends applaud.

Some of them list grievances and allow me to apologize alphabetically.

I’ve had to clarify this process several times.

For example, I am not sorry for voting Democrat or for coloring my hair.

I do not regret cheating at Scrabble or ignoring chain e-mails.

I won’t apologize for liking Howard Stern and Starbucks.

Dad would like me to include “rooting for the Red Sox” in my list of wrongdoings.

No way, Yankees fans. Not going to happen.

Instead, tomorrow, I look across the table or speak sincerely into the phone and apologize for any harm I’ve caused. I’m sorry for hurtful words and actions, not only for what it does to them, but to me as well. These people mean the world to me and so I vow to work hard not to make the same mistakes again. Sometimes tears fall as they accept my apology and offer their own as well.

Then we laugh a little when I bring up that dinner party a while back where the soup was cold and the bread, stale. My last apology involves a sincere promise to try a cooking class. Or at least order take-out. ‘Cause someone could chip a tooth.

All in all, a beautiful way to end the Days of Awe.

And then I proceed to starve myself for twenty-four hours, just to drive home the deal.

And then we’re good for another year.

This ritual of asking for forgiveness and offering the same is a way of professing love to those we cherish. Hopefully God smiles down as we smile at each other.

Plus I really will learn how to cook this year. Pinky swear.

Make Some DREAMS Come True

Senators Richard Durbin (D-IL), Chuck Hagel (R-NE), and Richard Lugar (R-IN) are about to introduce the DREAM Act as an amendment to the Department of Defense authorization bill.

This would provide a 6-year path to permanent residence and eventual citizenship for kids brought to the U.S. as undocumented children--as long as they graduate from high school and continue on to college or the military.

If the amendment passes, the DREAM Act stands an excellent chance of becoming law. It will need 60 votes to pass.

Support the DREAM Act today and encourage your senators to do the same.

Fox's Coverage of the Petraeus Hearings

Should something be done about this?

Or should we simply ignore it?

You decide.

What's the deadliest item in a grocery store?

How 'bout:

- Bag of oreos. Maybe two.

- Extra large kumquat. And some Boone's Farm. Cause I have an idea.

- The cashier's breath.

Wrong!

It's your bag, baby.

Somewhere in the northern Pacific floats a non-biodegradable petrochemical blob that's twice the size of Texas.

Way gross. So listen to this and bring your own bag next time.

And squeeze a kumquat for me.

Act Now

The Senate will vote today on an amendment to restore habeas corpus when they vote on the Defense Department Authorization bill.

Call Now: Tell Congress to restore habeas corpus and end rampant spying on Americans.

"Suck It Jews" Would Have Been Funny, Too

No matter what Bill Donohue says.

Betcha Jesus agrees.

I'm With My Brother

This guy *deserved* to get his ass tasered.

"Don't taser me, bro!"

Yeah, tough guy turns like a b*tch in a horror film.

"What did I do? Help!"

And I do love the requisite hysterical female college student. "Oh my God!" And the assbag yelling "Rodney King!"

Seriously. Big fan.

Of course, I believe anyone who attends UF *deserves* to get his ass tasered.

But that's me.

Kucinich or Edwards? Edwards or Kucinich?

Take this test to find out who should get *your* vote.

A Failing School?

Here's a solution: shorten the work week.

Three-day weekends for all the kids!

Now why didn't I think of that?

Landowner Groups and Environmentalists Agree

The Senate Finance Committee is expected to vote within the week on the Endangered Species Recovery Act of 2007.

This bill would provide significant new tax incentives to encourage ranchers, farmers and other private landowners to help the recovery of endangered species on their land.

Email your Senator today in support of S. 700, the Endangered Species Recovery Act.

I Adore Matt Taibbi

And this is why.

Enjoy.

Another Republican Committing Sexual Crimes

I love how his fellow "family-values" friends defended their boy.

"He also had this little dark side."

It's not so little when you're fourteen years old.

Oh well. At least this conservative saved us the trouble of a trial.

Wish they were all so thoughtful.

Betrayal of Trust

Don't believe the hype.

For Anyone Who Cares About Our Constitution

In just a few days, the Senate will vote on whether or not to restore habeas corpus -- the fundamental constitutional right that allows citizens to challenge the lawfulness of their imprisonment. President Bush currently has the power to declare anyone, including U.S. citizens, "enemy combatants" and throw them in jail indefinitely without any explanation for their imprisonment.

Contact your senators now and speak up to save habeas corpus and restore the Constitution.

More Gagging

We helped win a key Senate vote repealing the global gag rule. Now we have to make sure that the Senate language is included in the final bill that gets sent to Bush.

We can continue to make a difference.

By taking action today, let's build the support we need to end the global gag rule and ensure that women around the world have access to birth-control services.

This 'n That

Unity08 put forth a survey to find out which issues are most important to us.

Those issues were terrorism, health care, education, the integrity and accountability of public officials, illegal immigration, and energy supplies. Well over half the respondents listed them as crucial.

Gun ownership, abortion rights, and gay marriage came in dead last in the rankings.

Shocker.

View the results of the study here.

EDin08 says No Child Left Behind isn't working. No kidding?

Six thousand kids dropped out of school yesterday, and another six thousand will drop out today, and tomorrow, and the day after that.

Seventy percent of our 8th graders aren't proficient in reading, and by the end of 8th grade, what passes for the U.S. math curriculum is two years behind the math being studied by 8th graders in other countries.

While the candidates pander, founder, and stomp up and down about NCLB, we are losing our economic foothold to China, India, and Singapore.

And last, but certainly not least, let's get Mark Udall off to a strong start.

In 2008, I'd like to toast a Democratic governor, a Democratic Congress, and two Democratic senators. (Yes, I count Salazar as a Democrat.) Colorado - let's make her blue.

Then maybe I'll stay.

Thanks - For Not - Giving

Once, when I was around six years old, my mother got sick.

Really sick.

So she asked me to check on her every half-hour and if she didn't wake up, I was to call family members and maybe the doctor. Can't quite recall but it was something like that.

I was six.

So during commercial breaks, while watching The Brady Bunch, I checked on my mom. Didn't have to check more than twice because after about an hour or so, the doorbell rang. It was Aunt Marie.

She didn't need a phone call. She knew something was wrong. She knew she was needed. So she drove up to our house with her suitcase in hand and stayed until my mom's appendix was removed and we were okay on our own once again.

Or maybe it was Mom's gall bladder.

I don't know. I was six.

I use this story to illustrate the type of family I come from - there are a million such stories from which to choose.

But not everyone rolls this way.

For example, some of our relatives live on the East Coast of Florida. 'Bout three to five hours away from where we lived in Wesley Chapel. They've had some emergencies in the past.

Hurricanes.

Diseases.

Lonesome holidays.

Husband has responded by driving over there, sometimes at a moment's notice, to rescue and attend to the situation while I held down the fort and took care of the kids.

Cause we roll that way.

Other relatives lived closer to them and could have helped but we always stepped up to the plate. In return, we never really got gratitude or appreciation. More like such behavior was expected from us. Which is sort of a compliment, I suppose.

Sort of.

Between 2006-2007, I spent approximately fifteen months by myself. My parents helped me immensely, thank God, and Husband flew in once a month. Otherwise, I was a single parent for more than a year.

During which time I was hospitalized twice and almost died once. Recovery took more than a month and a half.

Guess how many times East Coast family members came calling to help? Guess how many times they drove up to visit with my children, run errands, or simply hold my hand?

None.

Zero.

Nada.

In their defense, there *were* some important football games on during that time. Plus a Mah Jongg tournament or two.

It's all good. Some just don't roll that way.

Now they wanna know if we can, oh, I don't know, rent a car or borrow one. After we fly all the way from Colorado to Tampa. When we're home for Thanksgiving. To haul our happy asses another five hours and drive down south to see them.

Long pause.

Did we:

a) agree to inconvenience someone by using their car, sacrifice seeing people who care, to spend a fortune on gas and make the drive?

b) politely decline but suggest *they* come see *us* and then wait for pigs to fly?

c) laugh so hard we sh*t ourselves and then hung up the phone?

One guess.

Wendy's Frosty Ass

Come on, you pig-tailed b*tch! Burger King even lays off eggs from caged hens.

Tried to email Wendy's - but she refuses even to accept email on this issue!

In March, Burger King began phasing in the use of cage-free eggs. Yet all of the eggs that Wendy's uses come from birds crammed in cages so tiny they can barely move.

So let's call her right now at 1-800-443-7266, ext. 2032.

Ask the company to follow in Burger King's modest footsteps and start moving away from eggs from caged hens. Then let The Humane Society know you called here.

Ramalamadingdong

Received this holiday greeting today...

Obviously, my Muslim peeps are lookin' out for me. Your Jewish girl appreciates the holla (challah)!

Speaking of forgiveness, I gotta run. We're about to start Tashlikh and my ride is a-honkin'.

1909-1998

Nana was eighteen when she met Grandpa. Grandpa was thirty-two. Immediately smitten, he proposed. Nana accepted the ring, but wore it on her right hand. They were *not* engaged. She was too young.

Nana liked to dance. So, for the next ten years, she worked as a telephone operator during the day and went dancing at night. Grandpa was okay with that. He allowed time for the love of his life to get her youth out of the way while she was young. Townspeople thought she was crazy. Grandpa was a good looking man! Such a bold woman – to go about her business while an eligible bachelor waited for her to come to her senses.

Like I said, Grandpa was okay with that.

When Nana turned twenty-eight, she figured it was a good time to get married. And so they did.

She proudly walked down the aisle…in a blue-velvet wedding gown.

Townspeople thought she was crazy.

Grandpa was okay with that.

They had six children and nine grandchildren. Grandpa died in 1975. Nana never remarried.

Nine years ago yesterday, we lost her. And the world hasn’t been the same since.

L'Shana Stove-Ah?

I'm used to an article or two a year in the local papers on Jewish holidays. It's the bone they throw the Jewish residents in town.

Not the kind of bone I prefer. But, okay.

However, this one is remarkably lame.

In fact, the slow cooker is perfect for many typical foods of a Rosh Hashana
dinner: brisket, chicken, tzimmes (a stew typically made with carrots, honey and
raisins) or any veggie stew.

Right. Cause when I think of Rosh Hashanah, I think shofar, apples, honey, and...crock-pots.

Does the reporter even *know* any Jews? Or perhaps she is accustomed to penning articles that are really written commercials for cookware companies.

Where's Jeff Houck when you need him?

Old CW: “My Eyes, My Eyes!”; New CW: “Wow. That had to hurt.”

Six months ago, Berger King rearranged my body so I could undress without causing psychological harm in others.

Well. Six months later, here we are.

Not. Quite. There.

Yet.

Let’s start with the girls, shall we? Good news – scars are healing. Under proper lighting (read: near darkness), the scars are barely noticeable. Recently, I visited another Certified Fitting Specialist, who, after hearing my story, didn’t want to tell me my new size for fear I’d “freak out.”

After assuring Gladys I wasn’t the freaking-out type, I signed several release forms and she dropped the bomb.

32D.

I kept saying, “Seriously?”

They’re perky. They’re comfortable. They’re super sensitive still, so please – just admire from a distance.

No squeezing.

No tweaking.

GENTLE HANDS!

They’re almost perfect.

“Are you sure I’m that big?”

Certified Fitting Specialists don’t like to be questioned.

Down to the tummy…

My scar remains quite noticeable and quite hideous. I’m comfortable naked only because there’s no flab. Let’s face it, if Husband didn’t take off after seeing two babies pulled out from inside me then he ain’t goin’ nowhere anytime soon. Right? Of course right.

Tummy itself is still numb. Tingly.

Seriously. You down there – can’t feel a thing.

The ends of the scar get itchy from time to time. Swelling continues around my middle.

So not hot.

Dr. Berger’s gonna have a look-see when I’m home for Thanksgiving.

I’d like to look normal. That’s all.

Healing is a painstakingly slow process, folks. But then – it’s only been six months.

My Sister's Favorite Animal

Florida’s Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission is expected to postpone a decision on its controversial proposal that would have undermined protections for endangered manatees. This welcome news comes just one day after Governor Charlie Crist sent a letter urging the commission to delay a decision on management of “one of our state’s most beloved natural resources.”

The Commission’s proposal could have been disastrous for these gentle sea cows. Please take a moment to thank the governor for standing up for manatees.

Woman-On-Woman Action

I'm so there.

Woman-to-Woman Dialogue Series:
“Reinventing Ourselves Across Generations”

Saturday, October 20, 2007
8:30am – 1:00pm
The Lodge, UCCS
Keynote: Women Making Change: Yesterday, Today, Tomorrow
Linda Meric, National Director of 9 to 5 National Association of Working Women

BREAK OUT SESSIONS will provide opportunities for participants to discuss women’s changing roles in families, workplaces, money management, sexuality, and activism.

More information here.

O-Train Caught Speeding?

Interesting article paints Senator Obama as inaccessible.

Standoffish.

With fainting fans and overprotective bodyguards.

Interesting. Few months back, in Florida, Barack Obama kneeled down and talked to my children in the middle of a rally. He was kind, considerate, and seemed every bit the "real guy" I'd come to expect.

However, maybe now sh*t's out of control. He's got a following. The crowd swells with anticipation.

Plus there's the Oprah factor.

So I'm wondering - is he a rock star protected from the screaming masses who's too quickly grown too big and out of touch to be our leader? Or are his handlers rightfully protecting an African-American candidate from would-be James Earl Rays out there?

Just wonderin'.