City of Progress, My Ass

Caving in to pressure from religious fanatics, the Largo City Commission recommended that Steve Stanton be fired.

Two Things You Can Do

1.) Email Largo Commissioners. Equality Florida has prepared an editable email that you can personalize or send as is.

2.) Call Largo City Hall (727-587-6700) and express your support for Steve and for workplace diversity.

Tell commissioners that it's not too late to stop this discriminatory move.

Vegetarian Blues

Saw my hot hematologist today so he could clear me for surgery.

No such luck.

Seems my platelet count is about the same as always, on the low side, so he's gotta call Dr. Berger (or "Lew" because he and my hematologist are BFFs) to see if a few days of steroids are in order.

I really hate that my platelet count is so low. On an intellectual level, I know that my eat right-exercise-do no harm philosophy doesn't guarantee good health. But g*ddamn. It should.

Then my brother sends me this:

Risks and benefits of vegetarian diets

Vegetarian diets have been credited with decreasing the incidence of severity of diseases such as cardiovascular disease, hypertension, diverticular, osteoporosis and cancer of the breast, colon, prostateand lung.

In general, both morbidity and mortality rates for coronary artery disease are lower among vegetarians than non-vegetarians, possibly because of better bloodlipid profiles.

The vegetarian diet may lead to a decrease in plasma cholesterol and an increase in the ratio of high-density lipoprotein to low-density lipoprotein cholesterol. Vegetarian diets contain a higher ratio of polyunsaturated fatty acids to saturated fatty acids, which may reduce platelet aggregation and blood clotting, possibly by altering the fatty acid composition of blood platelets.

My meatloaf-eating parents are thrilled right now.

What's the solution? I'm not giving up my cruelty-free diet. Perhaps there is some herbal tea that'll clear this up. I don't want to take steroids.

Although, if I do, and steroids make me want to kick some ass... maybe we can stage a boxing match between me and Michael Hussey with the proceeds benefitting me. Shopping spree. Victoria's Secret?

I think I can take him. With or without the juice.

A Blogging Event

Last night, bay area bloggers got together in South Tampa to eat, drink, and, in the case of one unidentified web writer, eavesdrop and make inappropriate comments.

Oh wait. That was me.

Decent turn-out for our first effort. Jim Johnson played the role of charming host, mingling amidst the crowd with well-timed words of encouragement. He's as thoughtful as his site suggests, even-keeled with a warm smile that immediately put me at ease. I felt welcomed into the group even though I arrived late because, let's face it, I can't find my way around the corner without getting lost.

Lisa, always a doll, gave me a hug. She probably just wanted to feel the girls one last time before they're gone for good.

Who doesn't?

Joel, Jason, and other illustrious Sticks and non-Sticks writers (some with the best designed facial hair ever, and I don't even like facial hair) all echoed the same question I ask myself every day: "Aren't you supposed to be moving?"

Take it easy, boys. I'll be gone soon enough.

But who will take my place? Come on, when you want to chat up a local Jewish liberal vegetarian teacher/mom who believes "Thou shall wax" should be the 11th commandment, I'm the only show in town.

Which brings me to another observation - our little corner of the Internet lacks some serious diversity. Lisa and I were the only girl bloggers. Joel says he's Hispanic. Everyone else - white and male.

We can do better than that, right?

Speaking of male and white - how yummy is Dave in a tie, all business-like and sh*t - with Tim kicking his young professor vibe? Blogs are no longer just for Trekkie-types. Good news all the way around.

Tommy, our own Mack-Daddy, moved like a king through his kingdom while another Tim took pictures of everyone but me. I learned about site names, gay clubs in Kentucky, and the efforts of a Lakeland liberal to bring civility and charm to that part of the "bay area".

Politics, censorship, Beastie Boys, and local legends were all up for discussion. Plus the Guinness was great.

We're a friendly bunch. You should come join us next time.

The teachers' union sucks, but still...

The House of Representatives will debate and hopefully pass a bill restoring American workers' right to freely choose whether or not to form a union.

Show your support for the Employee Free Choice Act.

Research shows union members earn 30% more than nonunion workers. Plus, union workers are 63% more likely to have employer-provided health insurance, and are four times more likely to have a guaranteed pension.

The benefits of union membership are clear.

Victory In Texas - Who Knew?

Environmental Defense helped negotiate an aggressive environmental platform that will, among other things:

- Terminate plans for the construction of 8 of 11 coal-fired power plants TXU had hoped to build;
- Stop TXU's plans to expand coal operations in other states;
- Endorse the U.S. Climate Action Partnership (USCAP) platform, including the call for a mandatory federal cap on carbon emissions; and
- Reduce the company's carbon dioxide emissions to 1990 levels by 2020.

Here's the story in The New York Times.

This is a huge victory for the environmental community. It sends a clear message about the undeniable momentum in calling for federal global warming legislation.

Ob La De Ob La Da

From Equality Florida -

Tonight, City of Largo Commissioners will consider a resolution
to fire City Manager Steve Stanton, a 17-year veteran of the
city. Steve recently announced that he is transgender and will be
completing the gender reassignment process in the coming year.

Largo Mayor Pat Gerard, Police Chief Lester Aradi and other city
administrators have been extremely supportive of the city manager and are doing
an excellent job of educating the community.

Commissioner Mary Black's divisive move to fire Steve amounts to
employment discrimination and must be stopped.

The proposed resolution to remove the city manager will be voted on
TONIGHT.

Please send an email now.

UPDATE: Have I mentioned how much I hate it when the bad guys win?

On a lighter note, friend of mine has a cousin who's trying for a guest anchor gig on Today. Go here and vote for David Burge. (UPDATE: Voting is done for today. Perhaps we can try again tomorrow.)

Homeboy has balls - wearing a pink shirt and yellow bowtie on national television. That alone ought to put him over the edge.

h/t Rachel* and Matt

Timber!

For over 50 years, timber companies have logged many of the biggest trees and some of the best habitat in Alaska's Tongass National Forest. Now, as a result of an Earthjustice court victory, the Forest Service has the opportunity to create a new future for the Tongass: please support protecting this magnificent coastal rainforest for generations to come.

CLICK HERE TO TAKE ACTION!

Also, the US Fish and Wildlife Service wants to protect polar bears from the effects of global warming by listing them as "threatened" under the Endangered Species Act -- you can encourage them by sending a quick email.

Women Have Paid Too Much for Far Too Long

A few days ago, I posted an entry about the Prevention First Act. As always, I wrote to my representative in Congress to voice support. And, as always, her response is a joke.

An excerpt:

I continue to be a supporter of teen pregnancy prevention programs and emergency
contraception for rape victims. However, I have concerns with mandating an
insurance company to provide coverage for contraception. In addition to the
costs that mandated health benefits add to our health insurance system,
contraceptives are a personal choice that a woman and her partner must make.
Requiring a health insurance provider, and thus a business, organization, or
association offering that insurance, to cover a decision that should remain in
the family is wrong. As a woman, I respect a person's right to choose a
contraceptive; as a lawmaker, I also respect objection to such coverage.

Referred to the House Committees on Energy Commerce, Ways and Means, and
Education and Labor, H.R. 819 is awaiting further legislative action. Should the
bill come before me on the House floor, rest assured that I will keep your
comments in mind.

Sincerely,
Ginny Brown-Waite
Member of Congress

How many other medical decisions should remain in the family and therefore aren't eligible, according to Ginny Brown-Waite, for insurance coverage? I know! How about when daddy can no longer get it up for mommy? Most insurance plans jumped right on the Viagra train without scheduling a single family meeting beforehand.

Birth control treats certain diseases in addition to costing less than prenatal care, birth, and delivery of an unplanned pregnancy. If an insurance plan covers prescription drugs, it should include birth control.

See You There

A quick reminder about Tuesday night's meetup.

Or...

If you're in the neighborhood, but can't make drinks, visit the School Board meeting instead. They might soon switch to daytime hours - so speak now or forever hold your piece.

I mean, peace.

It's FCAT Time

Which blows, by the way.

Good News

Drug company ends push to make vaccine mandatory

Facing adverse reaction from parents, doctors and advocacy groups, Merck and Co. said Tuesday that it would stop lobbying state governments for laws mandating that pre-teen girls be vaccinated against cervical cancer. The Wall Street Journal reports that Merck, which makes the vaccine Gardasil to protect against the human papillomavirus (HPV), had initially been successful in convincing such state leaders as Texas governor Rick Perry to order the vaccinations. But Gardasil is expensive, the Journal reports — $360 for a three-dose regimen — and HPV, believed to cause
most of the cases of cervical cancer in the United States, is spread through
sexual contact. Many parent and advocacy groups had objected to the vaccine,
because it might have forced them into talking about subjects they weren't ready
to discuss with their daughters. And because the vaccine's approval is new, some
physicians expressed concern about possible side effects. The Journal quotes
Merck's executive director of medical affairs, Richard Haupt, as saying the
company had decided that the adverse reaction was a distraction from the
original goal of immunizing as many women as possible. Merck has "decided at
this point not to lobby for school laws any further," the newspaper quotes Haupt
as saying.

-- HealthDay News

h/t Becky

Teachers Do

Friend of mine invited a co-worker to happy hour. Big mistake.

"No thank you. It's deplorable that teachers attend happy hour right down the street from their school," she said in her non-acceptance speech. "I don't even order a glass of wine with dinner unless I'm in Pasco County or something. Far enough away where I won't run into any of my students."

I know. Pasco County restaurants serve wine?

This particular teacher's list of no-no's doesn't just include an occasional adult beverage. She believes most modern educators are immoral and longs for the days when teachers were kept under virtual house arrest each evening after their tea and mandatory Bible reading.

I happen to believe she is horribly misguided.

Teachers shouldn't have to hide themselves away as if everyday experiences are shameful events. We are human beings and entitled to full and complete lives. Obviously - drug buys on campus shouldn't be tolerated. Yet teachers who live in self-imposed exile take their jobs way too seriously. And, as a result, aren't nearly as effective.

That's right. We aren't doing our jobs if we're not out there mucking it up. The more non-traditional, the more broad our world view and then everyone wins.

Fellow teachers - drink alcohol, write steamy novels, protest nuclear power plants, frequent nudist resorts, attend passion parties, perform in rock bands, and bring an arsenal of experiences from which to draw when dealing with a diverse and ever complicated student population.

Good teachers do this already. And our students are all the better for it.

I Am Open to Suggestions

Two weeks from tomorrow, two procedures will restore my body to its former glory.

I know. Can hardly wait.

Recovery takes about ten days so I'm wondering which movies and books might help me heal.

The Big Lebowski and Casablanca are good for any situation. Perhaps Shut Up and Sing?

Real Boys and I Feel Bad About My Neck are already on my night table.

Must. Find. The Secret.

What else?

Flattery Will Get You Everywhere

So nice. Wonder what picture he'll post? Plenty of room for another slut in the faculty lounge of Superior High School.

And does anyone know the genuis behind this gem? If so, pass the tip to me. I'd like to give him or her a wet, juicy kiss.

If It's Organic, Don't Panic

United Farm Workers wants your feedback on food safety issues.

Come on, those grapes will taste so much better if you take less than five minutes to help the people who help bring them to your table.

Happy munching!

Do you really want to prevent abortions? Let's see...

From NARAL:

Prevention First Act will help prevent unintended pregnancies, thereby reducing the need for abortion, and improve women's health.

Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid and Rep. Louise Slaughter (D-NY) are the chief sponsors of the bill, which also has the support of House Speaker Nancy Pelosi and many others.

Prevention First means honest, realistic sex education for our teens; better access to birth control, including emergency contraception, for women; and improved family-planning services for couples who may not otherwise have access to a doctor.

It's positive and powerful!

With the new Congress, we can find common ground on abortion and help to prevent unintended pregnancies. Contact your members of Congress in support of the Prevention First Act.

Of Course, I'd Rather Be Naked

Fur is dead. And yucky.

Usually the skinning-alive process is pretty grotesque, therefore wearing the poor baby's skin and all just invites bad karma and happenings upon your person.

Wait and see. I'm always right.

Several people are up in arms because dog fur has been sold on jackets in this country. Minks? Fine. Man's best friend? Not so much.

From the Humane Society:

H.R. 891, introduced by Rep. Jim Moran (D-VA) and Rep. Mike Ferguson
(R-NJ), would require all fur-trimmed garments to be labeled, which would help
prevent dog fur from slipping into the country. And it would prohibit the sale
of fur from raccoon dogs, members of the dog family who were seen being skinned
alive in undercover video footage.

Please take just a moment to contact your member of Congress today. Tell lawmakers that dogs should be spared from misery and consumers spared from deception.

We wanna pet Fido. Not wear him.

And the Award Goes To...

"We all are. Act accordingly."

Martin Scorsese (enjoyed watching my old neighborhood on film), Forest Whitaker, Helen Mirren, Jennifer Hudson, and Eddie Murphy should walk away with Oscar Gold. However, there are other awards being handed out this weekend as well.

From EDF's Global Warming Globie Awards:

Seattle Mayor Greg Nickels wins Best Performance by a State or
Local Official for spearheading a national effort to organize America's
cities to cut carbon dioxide pollution 7% below 1990 levels by 2012.

US-CAP walks away with Best Performance in the Corporate
World for calling for immediate, effective global warming legislation
in Congress which represents a real game changer in our global warming
campaign.

In contrast, Exxon wins Worst Performance by a
Corporation. In spite of recent softening in its corporate rhetoric
against global warming action, ExxonMobil wasn't able to obscure its decade-long
and multi-million dollar public relations campaign to undermine the scientific
consensus on global warming.

By calling global warming the greatest hoax ever perpetrated on humankind,
Senator Inhofe has solidified his legacy as one of the leading global warming
deniers of our time and lays claim to Most Egregious Contribution to
Public Ignorance and Denial. His kids must be so proud.

Do your part and write your own acceptance speech. If not for us, then for our children.

New Iowa Poll Numbers

IOWA: A new Strategic Vision-R poll was released Wednesday of likely Iowa caucus participants.

Republicans: Rudy Giuliani - 29%, John McCain - 22%, Newt Gingrich - 11%, Mitt Romney - 9%, Chuck Hagel - 5%, Tommy Thompson - 3%, and all others with 2% or less apiece.

Democrats: John Edwards - 24%, Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama tied with 18% each, Tom Vilsack - 14%, Joe Biden - 5%, Bill Richardson - 3%, and all others with 2% or less apiece.

Interestingly, 48% of Republican respondents said they favored "a withdrawal of all United States military from Iraq within the next six months" -- versus 37% opposed the idea.

By contrast, Democrats favored withdrawal by a 64-9 margin.

These pro-withdrawal numbers could bode ill in Iowa for candidates in both parties who either are pro-surge or waffle on Iraq.

h/t Elizabeth

UPDATE: In related news, Vilsack is out.

Can You Feel the Excitement?

My brother and his lovely wife attended a Barack Obama rally. Insight and video here.

Idiots Rule

Nevada's Democratic Party just announced plans to let Fox News host a presidential primary debate.

Yes, please, Bill O'Reilly can write the questions and Sean Hannity can pose them. Then we can listen to jerk-offs mispronounce Barack Obama's name accidentally-on purpose or spread lies about the good Senator attending a terrorist school.

Sign this petition asking the Democratic Party of Nevada to 1) get its collective head out of its collective ass and 2) drop Fox as its partner for the presidential primary debate.

Dude Looks Like a Lady

A city manager from Largo is going from he to she. Tommy, The St. Petersburg Times and now The Tampa Tribune are on it.

Steve (soon to be: Susan) Stanton wants the right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of designer shoes.

Part of the process involves living as a woman for a year. This means wearing dresses or skirts, complaining about hypertension, and using the women's restroom at work. Lipstick is optional.

I can imagine what his/her colleagues are talking about today. The mayor supports his valued employee, but I'm sure more than a few co-workers (including the creep that forwarded his emails to The Times) will cackle about "feeling uncomfortable" with the whole thing.

Get over it. Dude's been faking it for 47 years and ought to be able to live without harassment from closed-minded city workers.

I do think it's a shame that Stanton didn't get this worked out before bringing children into the world.

Stanton has a 13 year-old son. Puberty is hard enough without dealing with dad in a skirt. The Trib reports father and son haven't discussed it yet. Really? (S)he has undergone extensive psychological testing, hormone therapy and painful electrolysis for years. Perhaps there were not enough commercial breaks where a quick family meeting could have been penciled in?

I'm all for equal rights. However, when parents put their own needs ahead of their kids, trouble usually follows.

Those Who Wish to Serve

--This morning, Senator John Edwards will be on the Today Show. Meredith Vierra will conduct the interview at 7:06 AM EST to talk about Iraq, Health Care, and other ways this administration has messed up our world. Tune in!

--Regarding Hillary, a word from Bill:

Look, with Republicans using everything in their arsenal to stop her
campaign, Hillary is going to need every one of us to do everything that we can
for her.

During eight years in the White House, Hillary and I faced a constant
barrage of attacks from Washington Republicans. No insult was off-limits. No
tactic was too low. They threw everything they could at us -- but we beat them
time and time again.

The attacks on Hillary haven't stopped, and she hasn't stopped winning. You
know how they say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger? Well, Hillary is as
strong as they come.

Go girl. Go even more even.

--And my brother called me the other day from Los Angeles.

"What's going on?" I asked.

"I'm at a Barack Obama rally, Kate," he said. "I've got momentum and hope. I've got energy and enthusiasm. I've got historical sh*t goin' on. What've you got?"

(long pause)

"Post-nasal drip and a sale on support hose."

More on that later...

Pay Attention to the Fine Print

According the Trib, Hillsborough County's School Board is ready to drop from its calender all religious holidays next year, except Christmas. Because the Lord's birthday just happens to coincide with Winter Break. Nice how that works out. Oh well, no more Good Friday, Rosh Hashanah or Fair Day.

Fair enough.

The end of the article hits you with news that our board might also change "its meetings from evenings to daytime starting in April, hearing public comments earlier in those meetings, and giving some speakers more time. The proposal comes after a meeting last week at which irate teachers waited nearly four hours to speak about schedule changes and were given two minutes each."

Yes, imagine how thrilled teachers will be when they hear that meetings will soon take place when they're...wait for it...want it...own it...that's right - teaching!

Fan-f*cking-tastic, Elia. You guys rock.

From the Pasco Democratic Party -

Democratic Women's Club Meeting:
Saturday, February 24, 2007
Time: 10:30 am
New Port Richey Public Library
5939 Main St, New Port Richey, FL 34652
Map
Speaker: Dr. Marc Yacht
Please call Louise Hinkley, President
For additional information at 727-848-1902

_________________________

West Pasco Democrats Meeting:
Saturday, February 24, 2007
Time: 1:00 pm
New Port Richey Public Library
5939 Main St, New Port Richey, FL 34652
Map
"Democrats Working Together"
Please call Louise Hinkley, Vice President, WPDC
For additional information at 727-848-1902
Topic: Amendments to current bylaws and other matters.

Something Better Than a Hybrid

Check out "The Greenest Vehicles of 2007," a list released this week by the American Council for an Energy-Efficient Economy.

Top scorers:

1) Honda Civic GX

2) Toyota Prius
3) Honda Civic Hybrid
4) Nissan Altima Hybrid
5) Toyota Yaris
6) Toyota Corolla
7) Toyota Camry Hybrid
8) Honda Fit
9) Kia Rio / Rio 5
10) Hyundai Accent
11) Hyundai Elantra
12) Honda Civic

Green is the new black. And driving an energy-efficient automobile is almost as sexy as giving up meat and drinking chai tea. So hot.

The ACEEE also publishes a "Meanest Vehicles" list of unrepentant gas-guzzlers. For the sinners among you...

How Much Do You Support Our Troops?

From MoveOn.org -

On Thursday, MoveOn members are gathering outside hundreds of congressional offices to keep the pressure on Congress to block the escalation. We'll be holding signs and listening to compelling speakers, and we've invited the media.

We want to make sure we have a good-sized group from your district. Can you join us at a "Congress Decides" letter delivery on Thursday around lunchtime in Brooksville?

Here are the details of the event:

Where: Ginny Brown-Waite's office: Brooksville, Old Hernando County Court House (in Brooksville)
When: Thursday, Feb 22 2007, 2:00 PM
RSVP: Click Here Now

A majority of those in Congress oppose the president's plan to escalate the war. Now we have to make sure they stop him. In a few weeks Congress will have to decide how far they're willing to go to block the escalation.

They're home for recess and this is our best opportunity to influence what they do when they return to Washington. They need to know that we're not going to rest until they start bringing our troops home.

Fasano - Buying Time

I'm suspicious of the motives behind so many politicians quick to make a new vaccine mandatory. Why are they in such a hurry to vaccinate young girls against a sexually transmitted disease that *may* lead to cervical cancer? Why should such medicine, not quite tested by time, be required?

The FDA approved the drug less than a year ago, people.

I'm not in bed with conservatives on this one; it isn't a sex issue. It's a public health issue and I'm sick of commercials, recommendations, and now, requirements, for drugs that are rushed into the marketplace too quickly.

I don't want anyone's daughter playing the role of lab rat. Thanks anyway.

h/t Jim Johnson

More Teachers Weighing In

This time from Chamberlain High School.

Welcome to the terrordome.

h/t Robin

Be There or Be Square

Tampa Bay Blogger Meetup

Who: Bloggers and Podcasters, fans of them or even those who want to become one.
When: Tuesday, February 27, 2007 — 6:00pm - 8:00pm
Where: Hawks Neighborhood Grill — 3114 Bay to Bay Boulevard, South Tampa
Why: Putting names and faces to the local blogging community, to share a beverage, and say hello.

Everyone is invited to come out and participate. This is an Un-Meeting, with no agenda or specific purpose other than meeting and getting to know one-another “offline.” If you have any questions, or if you plan to attend, send Jim Johnson an email: jim [at] stateofsunshine [dot] com, and let him know — so we can get an estimated headcount for the restaurant.

We hope you can make it!!

This one is co-hosted by State of Sunshine, Sticks of Fire, Seminole Heights, Out in Left Field, and In Theory.

More to Honor

President's Day is set aside to honor Washington and Lincoln, specifically. Who else deserves to be included?

My favorite has always been Thomas Jefferson. The man could write. Favorite quote:

I have sworn upon the altar of God eternal hostility against every form of tyranny
over the mind of man.

The power of his prose helped bring our nation together in its infancy. Those same words bind and define us even today. Plus there's the whole Lousiana thing. That's gotta count for something.

Who else? Oh, I know. Both Roosevelts, Kennedy, and Clinton.

I honor them all today. Beers on me.

Odds 'n Ends

I work with a woman who is making copies of my website and passing it out around school because she is offended by me.

Should I send her a thank-you note?

My children are recovering from quite a cold. The other day I wouldn't let them play outside ("We need to rest inside and heal, okay?") and my oldest ranted for 45 minutes.

Oh, the injustice of being a seven year-old.

At first, I looked him in the eye and made sure he knew he was being heard. He's a lot like his Mommy. I nodded and told him I understood he thought he was fine and good enough to play out back. However, I stood my ground and said no. Kid used every trick in the book:

- "If you don't let me out, I'll scream."

- "Look at the other kids playing outside. They're happy. I want to be happy. I want a Mommy that wants me to be happy."

- "Fine. Don't let me go. I'm not going to read any more of your articles in the paper. We'll see how you like that."

This last one he mumbled more to himself and I just melted. Kid's got heart and doesn't relent. I scooped him up, we shared a rocking chair moment, and then it was bedtime. He hugged me and said, "I really do love you. Even though you don't do what I want sometimes."

If only my meddling co-worker felt the same way.

I Hate That Donohue Won

While I respect McEwan and Marcotte's decision to resign from the John Edwards campaign, I hate how it encourages more such attacks in the future.

Looking back, the detail that astonishes me the most is the sheer amount of ink,
air time, and energy devoted to keeping this phony scandal going until McEwan
and I felt we had to resign. One question that's hard to avoid is how much of
the venom had to do with the fact that McEwan and I were young women entering
into a field (Internet communications) that's viewed as almost monolithically
masculine. From my vantage point, it appeared that sexism was one of the primary
motivating energies behind the campaign. Even before Donohue stepped in, various
right-wing bloggers were obsessed with my gender and sexuality. As I noted
at the time of my resignation, the majority of the hate mail I was receiving was
from men, and almost all the e-mails made note of my gender or suggested that I
would be a more pleasant woman if I wasn't so "angry." Bluntly put, I find it
hard to believe that many men would end up being denounced on TV for using words like "f*ck" or "c*nt" on their blog and expect to receive piles of e-mail
offering an opportunity to suck the sender's d*ck.

And the story goes on...

h/t Elizabeth

Unnecessary Drama

Yet another example of how bad parents are ruining our schools, our community, our world. Why does such an ignorant fool get to remain anonymous?

They don't pay coaches enough to deal with this kind of abuse.

UPDATE: Coach resigned and the anonymous fool's name is Steve Nesfield.

I hate hate hate it when the bad guys win.

Another Reason to Boycott Wal-Mart

Tashina Byrd went to Wal-Mart with her boyfriend to buy Plan B® - the "morning-after" pill - after their condom broke. The pharmacist said, "We have it on hand, but there's no one here who can dispense it."

This happened at a local Wal-Mart in Springfield, Ohio.

Send a letter to Wal-Mart CEO H. Lee Scott, Jr., urging him to change company policy to guarantee that pharmacies fill requests for Plan B® without delay, just like they do for any other over-the-counter medicine.

Click here to send your letter to Wal-Mart today.

Stop the Slander

Help the Democrats pass the House Iraq resolution, and help wavering Republicans stand up to this rhetoric.

Thanks.

Almost Time to Say Goodbye to the Girls

Had my pre-operation appointment yesterday because Dr. Berger is going away for the next three weeks. Turned out to be two hours long.

Learned a lot.

For instance,

- Most women want breasts that don't fall into our armpits when we lie down. It's a simple dream, really. Sadly enough, when we give birth and nurse until nipples are sore, that simple dream becomes a pipe dream. A good plastic surgeon will tell you, the choice is clear. Rely on maximum strength undergarments - which is fine until the inevitable unveiling occurs - or fix them permanently. Turns out, even smaller breasts naturally fall to the side when the lady lies down. Who knew? (Note: "breasts" not "mosquito bites" or "implant-enhanced ta-tas" - both of which are perky no matter the position. Even upside down. Don't ask.) Dr. Berger just wants to prepare me for reality. That's why I love him.

- Set aside a few hours for the pre-op. I did not, ran out of time, and must go back to take the dreaded "before" pictures. If you wanna help me pay for the procedure, I'll let you see all the pictures when we're done. Oh who am I kidding? They'll be on this site before the year is out.

- The night before surgery involves lots of scrubbing with special cleansers, multiple enemas, and a mandatory sleeping pill. Anyone wanna crash at my place?

- Liquid diet, mandatory the final 24 hours before surgery, does not include pints of Guinness. I asked.

- Morning of surgery, I'm allowed to shower and shave for the last time - for about a week. After two days, you will be able to smell me for miles. Anyone wanna crash at my place?

- Also the morning of, I must take a Valium before my mother drives me to the hospital. I fought this tooth and nail, but doc won't budge. I'm not like his typical patients, I tried to explain, who need pharmaceutical intervention every day of the week just to get through incredibly stressful manicures and golf outings. Tough as nails, I am. Still. Gotta take it, he says. So I'll pop my pills, get wasted, and no doubt call to confess my undying love. Don't pick up. For your own good. And mine.

- No strenuous activity *of any kind* for six weeks after surgery.

Less than a month to go.

And no, you may not crash at my place.

If a teacher complains in the faculty lounge, does anyone hear it?

More thoughts on last night's school board meeting:

- Olson and Valdes seem to be open-minded thinkers genuinely interested in hearing from teachers. Perhaps one of them should be superintendent.

- Teachers would benefit from coherent and sane representatives. Shouting at school board members from the audience does nothing to make us look legitimate.

- Speakers should keep their comments to under a minute. Otherwise they go over time alotted, appear to be rambling, and start to sound like...a board member.

- Dr. Lamb, spend less time admiring and talking about your new electronic voting system and more time admiring and talking *with* your teachers. And put down that g*ddamn gavel.

- Every school in the district should send a rep to listen in on these meetings and report back to the faculty. How many board members have been in the classroom lately? Yet they lecture and condescend and make decisions that affect every teacher in the district. Too few educators care enough to listen. The school board affects our lives, every single day, yet I bet most teachers know more about the cast of Desperate Housewives.

Put down the snacks, turn off the television, get up off your ass and do something about your lot in life.

Or don't.

Completely up to you.

Big Buildup. Lousy Finish.

I attended the Hillsborough County School Board meeting last night ready to raise hell about next year's proposed schedule change. Or at least watch some other people do so. Went something like this...

One of the organizers (read: instigators. big fan!) told me 75 teachers would be there. Showed up and counted maybe 24. Tops. A few from Freedom and King amidst 20 from Armwood alone.

"Wow. Great turnout," I told one of them.

Another Armwood educator said their spokesman was slated to speak toward the end of the meeting and would I like to see a copy of the speech?

Sure.

She handed me a three-page dissertation, but I read through it.

"Who's reading this diatribe?" I asked, looking to tell Homeboy to cut it down to one page or run the risk of losing his audience.

Teachers. They love to hear themselves talk.

"He's over there," someone said and pointed him out.

My jaw hit the floor. Angry Armwood from the Holocaust Museum was our spokesman?

Good God. We're f*cked.

"Umm...okay," I said, "I'm going to sit in the back and kind of spread out. Write all this down."

"So many teachers are afraid to be here. Afraid they'll lose their jobs," someone said.

"I'm not afraid," I said. "I just don't want to be associated with Looney Tunes. Thanks though."

I took a seat in the back of the room and listened to the proceedings with giddy anticipation. Several areas of the speech were in all CAPS. Couldn't wait for Angry Armwood to lose it in front of television cameras, the school board and a comatose audience. This was going to be great. All I needed was some popcorn and a beverage.

After two hours, one of the board members said the time had finally come for audience comments. Angry Armwood stood up. Here we go! This was it! Got my pen, paper, and cell phone camera. Action!

Said cell phone began vibrating in my hand.

"Hello?" I whispered. "Mom? You okay? The boys okay?"

"Yeah, honey, but I'm getting tired. Your dad called and needs more medicine. I'm sorry but I need you to come home."

"Are you f*cking kidding me?"

Haven't had a buzz kill this bad since that time in college we couldn't find the cow pasture.

Side Salad in the House

On-line buddies I've had the pleasure to meet in person: Tommy, Brett, Joel, Dave, Jason, Lisa, Dawn, Chase, and you. So far, so damn good.

Add one more to the list: The Tampa Tribune's own Jeff Houck.

Mr. Houck came to my school yesterday. He gave our students a presentation on how to get paid for eating food and then writing about it. And so much more.

From my thank-you note:

It takes a special soul to get up in front of teenagers and not suffer
humiliating defeat in the form of silence or mockery. You handled (our
students) perfectly, talking in a language they understood without
pandering. Impressive. You also made your career sound attainable. Anyone
who reads can see you are not just "some guy" - it takes talent to do
what you do, so well, week after week - yet you put
these impressionable youngsters at ease and more than a few are
now interested in your job.

Not one kid fell asleep. They laughed and felt comfortable enough to offer opinions and ask questions. Jeff answered each query with ease and seemed genuinely interested in their viewpoints. Not always easy when said audience is filled with kids who believe Kanye West is the New Messiah.

I've made the case before that our students need to hear from people who will open their eyes to real life adventures that await them in the real world. Thanks Jeff for your time.

Who's next?

Team Work

One of my students had an interesting question when I reminded them about our school's upcoming Conference Night.

"Do parents have to attend?" he asked.

(Blink. Long pause. Blink again.)

"No," I said. "Teachers have to be there, but parents do not."

Teachers have so many different duties. We are required to:

- keep an updated record, on line, of our students' grades.

- send home progress reports and report cards.

- call parents of every failing student.

- attend four conference nights each year.

- be available every day during conference periods.

- update each special ed student's Individual Education Plan annually.

The list goes on and on. No complaints. Our job, after all.

In turn, a parent isn't required to do a thing regarding his/her child's education. They don't have to check grades, attend conferences or IEP meetings, or even answer the phone when we call. Parents feel quite comfortable holding teachers accountable. However, if we suggest, gently and diplomatically, that they could do some things differently at home, we are "meddling" and a new teacher is often requested.

Parents and teachers are on the same team - along with the students - and must work together for a successful educational career. Working together - that ought to be a requirement.

Teach a Man to Fish...

My cousins are involved with a group that provides microloans to people in developing countries. This help is needed due to banks charging a ridiculous 300% interest on loans. Bill Gates and Bill Clinton, among other world leaders, are big fans of microloans as a way for the world to fight poverty.

For example, a lady in Uganda needed a $400 loan to buy a fridge and grinding machine so she could open up a little peanut butter stand. She got the loan through a generous man in San Francisco and it allowed her family to get out of the dangerous rock grinding business. There are many more heartfelt stories about people pulling themselves out of poverty with a little help from us.

The money isn't given away, the lender pays you back, usually within a year. So far they've helped hundreds of people and have had a 100% repayment rate. You can email your borrower and they keep you updated on their "business".

Make Your Voices Heard

One of these days, I will change my picture. I always do. And this time I'm letting you decide the pose, clothing options, background, props, etc.

I am nothing if not the voice of the people.

Ideas are already pouring in:

- Joel thinks I should lose the robe, make copies of offensive emails and place them in strategic places, keeping the wine and ice cream in place of course.

- Someone suggested showing my leg, only this time as an homage to The Graduate. Who would like to play Dustin Hoffman?

- Bobby says let my Irish out to play.

- Emily implores "pull a Jennifer Aniston."

- Several concerned readers suggest a different t-shirt each week while practicing one of my favorite yoga poses. Slogans include:

If you don't like my peaches, why do you shake my tree?

A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down.

Support Our Troops - Bring Them Home Now

I'm just like you, only I'm interesting and my life isn't devoid of meaning.

Hold on to my freedom.

- More than a few want me wearing this hot little number. Eating an apple? Playing with a ruler?

Keep the ideas coming as I mull like sweet spices. Decisions, decisions.

Bland New House for Sale!

New superstar realtor (third time's a charm) put his sign up in our front yard.

Cousin Jimmy sent St. Joseph and gave permission to bury him in our back yard.

Went from this -




to this -

...putting the asssss in alabaster.

We even lowered our price.

Haters, channel that energy into positive thoughts that our house will sell sometime soon.

Then I'm Colorado's problem. Promise.