I've Got The Light Bulb Flashing At The Top Of My Head

"How the Grinchenberg F*cked Chanukah"

All week long the boys left voicemail messages akin to:

"Hi daddy, we really miss you. We love you. Three more days 'till Chanukah!"

"Hi daddy, it's me. Wish you were here. I miss and love you. Can't wait until Chanukah! Woo Hoo!"

They have been hearing Jingle Bells since Thanksgiving. Teachers don't really "do" menorahs so my children color pictures of Frosty instead. But we prepped them. They know they drill. Eight days of Chanukah. Starts Friday. And so on.

They get in the car on the way home last night and ask,

"Mommy, tonight is the first night of Chanukah, right?"

"Yes babies, tonight is latkes and songs and candles and books!"

Dead silence.

"Books?"

The moaning started off low, then it started to grow. Husband called and expected happiness. Instead he got wails.

"Wow, Kate, that's a bit of a shock."

"I like books. I don't understand the problem."

"Sure. Maybe tomorrow or something. The first night could be Fun Night, right? They've been looking forward to this all week. Clifford Gets Distemper is a bit of a downer. Just sayin'."

Okay, boys, repeat after me: Mommy doesn't mean to suck the fun out of everything. She just can't help herself.

After a heart-to-heart with my boys, we switched nights around and made last night: Fun Night. Then I worked some nuts and screws and put this sh*t together.



Now that's more like it.