Bad Juju - or is it JoeJoe?
Far be it from me to complain. When self-pity parties start, all I have to do is turn on Mo'Nique's Phat Chance. Snaps me out of a mood real f*ckin' quick. Still, allow me a moment to report the heavy scene that is my life - and I'm not even going to get into everything because frankly, I don't need the lawsuits.
The house continues to sit with not a buyer in sight. One person walked through last week and reported afterward she's "concerned about the colors." My realtor told her if she offered full price, I'd paint every room the same bland shade of pale. Nothing yet. Yesterday I came home to a puddle of water in the kitchen. Apparently the dishwasher decided to die. Then my station wagon's "check engine" light came on. I lost Air America somewhere in Tennessee and still can't find it on the dial, so don't ask me what's wrong. I'm ignoring these Karmic Punishments because there's only so much bile my brain can hold. And I'm on overload right now.
My brother may have the answer.
"Whatever, Kate," he said. "Maybe it's about time you took stock. Turned your life back over to Christ."
He's kidding. Nothing but mad love for the Heebs in his life. However, it got me thinking about that decapitated idol buried in my yard.
I got out there in my Daisy Dukes and dug him up. Now he's lying on my washer until I figure out what to do with him. Any suggestions?
posted by kate @ 2:50 AM
10 comments
10 Comments:
A friend of mine recently looked at a townhouse with questionable wall colors. This is what he said: "I can paint them." He bought it.
What the heck is with people? Haven't they seen all those Home Depot ads? Painting is fun! And nevermind the potential for romantic shenanigans: you get a little too close to the other person reaching for a high spot, paint starts to fly everywhere. People are lame.
I'm still not sure why people are so averse to bold colors in a home. I guess that says a lot about their personalities (or lack thereof). Conversely it says a lot about yours.
Perhaps a brighter shade of pale-----or, maybe, some mellow yellow would work wonders.
And I agree with your brother--going backwards to whatever was back there, usually changes karma. Remember when Superman reversed the world so that Lois Lane didn't die. Try it, it might work
Perhaps a brighter shade of pale-----or, maybe, some mellow yellow would work wonders.
And I agree with your brother--going backwards to whatever was back there, usually changes karma. Remember when Superman reversed the world so that Lois Lane didn't die. Try it, it might work
St.Joseph lost his head, That is a first.
I think your brother is addicted to Catholicism because of the easy hook-ups with priests in the booths...um, confessionals....do those things have glory holes? Anywho, I think you're doing just fine and could benefit from a joint and the hubby flying down for a shag....or maybe just a bubble bath and some valium...I think I have a few of those around here somewhere...I keep them onhand since my mom is planning to visit at the end of the month and look for a house (she's not in your price range and she wants to live out in the sticks.) Anywho, I think you're doing a great job and the house will sell, just remember it's a buyer's market right now, so they think they can get away with anything and their realtors don't mind perpetuating that idea. Of course, the same people that are looking at your house are probably trying to get rid of one of their own too.
Why don't you put St. Joe's head on Zachary and bury him in the back yard? IT MIGHT WORK!!!!
Well, my take on things is to keep on muddling... I won't use the term "Stay the course" cuz that's got the bad Karma all over it. I mean, it is suffocating in it's negativity! I'm not even... even able to.... I can't finish this post! it's.... it's too much... it's....
...
...
OK, a couple Beatles tracks later and I'm ok. The real estate market in general has bad mojo right now, what with insurance costs, property taxes and the like hampering things. I'm not gonna' suggest doing shit to the property (besides getting the dishwasher fixed). If someone can't figure out they can change the house after they buy it, they don't deserve to own a home to begin with. It's not like it's a condo or something.
It's going to be ok -- well, except when you go back to the Springs and have the local bapists asking if Christ is your lord and savior (speaking of which -- just keep the statue in a safe place... not buried).
What IS that?!
People are afraid of bold colors because they are thinking resale before they've even closed on the house. However, if that's your thing, then a week of painting should be nothing.
Run down to Lowes, pick up some primer and a nice antique white and go to town.
And, I forgot about the buried statue thing and my dirty mind thought that was something else. Especially with the head missing.
Gax, you know you can get those Jesus dildoes now....
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