“That these United Colonies are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent Statesâ€
What is the most important Independence Day tradition?
“Celebrating Julie’s birthday!”
“Fireworks!â€
“Barbecue garden burgers!â€
“Beer!â€
Ummm, no.
A young girl, Jasmine Bedwell, is abused. Her mother is incompetent, so the girl is turned over to the state and made a foster child.
At 17, she drops out of school and gives birth to a baby boy, Emanuel Murray.
Within three months, she gets herself a new boyfriend named Richard McTear, who turns violent. McTear beats her and Emanuel, so Jasmine files a restraining order against him.
Jasmine promises case workers that she’ll follow through on a court order, but doesn’t.
McTear breaks into Jasmine’s apartment, throws Emanuel on the concrete floor, and then kidnaps the child only to throw him out of a moving vehicle on I-275.
Emanuel dies.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/kcjc/ / CC BY 2.0
As we remember Stonewall and the beginning of the modern gay rights movement, the progressive community is understandably frustrated with the pace of our administration in bringing about real change.
They have a point.
Enough already with the military’s ridiculous “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy.
And it’s about time we legalize gay marriage.
Yet after the stunning parades this weekend and the first official recognition of the movement by a sitting working US President, I’m filled with more hope than ever before.
Which is why I didn’t allow my blood pressure to rise when WFLA/News Channel 8 aired an “it would be disturbing if it weren’t so silly” documentaryinfomercial Saturday night about wicked gays trying to silence Christians. I urged my fellow libs to take deep breaths and see this program for what it was – a spoiled brat stomping his feet and holding his breath in the hopes of getting attention and that last piece of cake.
“Their world is ending, Mary,” I said with a giggle. “It’s falling down around them and they can’t do a thing to stop it. Let’s not be so reactionary. Pass the Sangria and shut the fuck up. I want to hear what these freakshows have to say so I can make fun of them later.”
If you find yourself back home with the ‘rents while looking for a place to live, towing a spouse and two kids behind you, here’s how to get through the experience with some style and grace.
One time I yelled “NASCAR isn’t a sport!”
Just last week I tasted Mom’s leftovers, accidentally ate bacon, and ended up on the toilet for three hours.
Don’t get me started about where I mistakenly stored my love toys. (Hint: Stay away from dresser drawers marked Rosary Collection.)
Style and grace.
Trust me.
Here we go.
On Facebook and Twitter, this is how my friends and I reacted to, in the immortal words of Winona Ryder, *all this death.*
Marc: R.I.P. Farrah. Oh how I used to hold your poster with one hand…
Kate: Anal cancer? Is the HPV virus a risk factor for this as well? Is this yet another reason to say no to up-the-boom-boom hankypank?
Answer: Nothin’ right now, baby. You wanna be?
Oh. My bad. Turns out it’s not a pickup line, but a serious call to action. Color me embarrassed…
Three Republicans continue The Suck.
Ralph Hughes died owing more than $60 million in back taxes.
Brian Blair beat the shit out of his teenage sons on Father’s Day.
Mark Sanford cheated on his wife.
None of this surprises me.
A rich man gets greedy and leaves his heirs to deal with the consequences? Yawn. Wake me when Wall Street 2 comes out.
A former wrestler produces two problem children and beats them when they turn out like their old man? Yawn. Wake me when Brian Blair and Hulk Hogan star in their own reality show.
And I don’t even care about what Mark Sanford does…I mean, have you seen his wife or heard her go on and on about The Lord? Christ. Don’t cry for him, Argentina.
I try very hard not to get angry about what is typical.What really pisses me off is the goddamn hypocrisy.
Charlie Miranda has come up with a plan to turn hundreds of millions of gallons of wastewater into drinking water. All in the name of self-sufficiency.
Yes, we are in the middle of a drought. But we aren’t desperate.
